yes, dear

lalalalalalalalala, yes, dear
lalalalalalalalalla, yes dear.

pause for sneezing

and we're back

in the night

i sleep in fits and starts, packing my blanket behind me, under a leg, supporting whatever needs to be held.  i kick at it, softly, then more vigorosly, and then as defiantly as one can when trying not to wake up.  the piles of pillows and soft things, i turn and kick avraham, knee connecting with knee.  he startles awake, i shush him back down.  sleep comes, and with it, vivid dreams - of a protest, a collapsing building, a vision of my grandfather's ghost warning me away from danger.  attacking a stranger in anger to prove my strength, only to feel foolish after.  in the mall, my grandmother takes the waxing machine and begins buffing the floors.

i wake, always looking at something - the red numbers glaring out from behind my pillowcase, the dulled ceiling in pre-dawn light.  a muffled racket from upstairs, and i'm done for the next few hours.  the alarm up there sounds again, i hear a screamed "fuck!", then the stomping sounds of footsteps rushing at the clock.  i turn, caress my pillows, arrange them, and set back to trying to sleep.  i move too violently, avraham can feel it.  i lie still as long as i can, then kick the blanket.

it's a constant war being fought, even on the nights when i sleep deeply.  i recall (as a child) waking up completely backwards or, as on one strange morning, sideways, with my head propped up against the wall and my feet hanging over the side.

i live for the nights when i fall in to bed and wake up in the same position.  but often i wake up, looking at the clock, by night time master - waking up every hour on that number for he next 5 hours - 1:13, 2:13, 3:13, 4:13, 5:13, 6:13.  then falling down for 2 or 3 hours rest.

8

i am so tired.  has a lot to do with sitting on my butt, bored, avoiding working on history crap.  i'm on vacation from both schools at the same time, conveniently, and have nothing to do (esp as avraham's not on vacation now).  i really shouldn't be complaining - this gives me time to get ahead on all my work for the rest of the semester.  i just need to actually DO it.

ra.

i think i may actually be heading to bed, and it's only 10.  i'm getting old and (to quote my mother) farty - as she informed me last night, it means old fart, like the kind that still ingers, but has lost its potency.  that last bit wasn't quotung her, just expouding on her wisdom.

damn that pizza still smells good.

must sleep

must

sleep

must
sleep

must sleep

mustsleep
must

constant

amazement that anyone still reads this.

channel 4 thinks the strike may end tonight.  that would be cool, although the timing has more than sucked - we go on break for the next week and a half, so i've effectively missed the entire last week of school.

i need to get out of riverdale to someonewhere more normal, where i'm comfortable, where there are stores close by (why are there no bodegas here?), back to manhattan maybe.

or maybe i just need a nap.

the issue of the moment is we have no groceries, and when i went to make lunch, it turned out that the soup i was going to heat up was bad.  so i ate a roll with cream cheese, like every day this week.  i tried to order food, actually, but the place essentially yelled at me for speaking english, then told me they can't do deliveries due to the transit strike - after 3 different people took my order.

so, what am i raving so badly?  a baked potato.  a hot steamy baked potato, crisp golden skin on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside, with some cheese, broccoli, maybe sour cream.  mmmm

instead i have granola bars and dry cereal ( no milk!).  or i can make pasta again and eat it with ...  hm.  nothing?

gr.  this is why i told my mother this morning to come over and bring food.  who cares if it's a 2 hour drive?

martha

i go back and forth between the martha love and the martha scorn.

k, it's hot and yuchy in here, while outside it's freezing.  which brings me to:

if you have an extra (gently worn) winter coat, please donate it to NY Cares.  they distribute to homeless adults throughout the city.  you can find more information at www.nycares.org.

just think about what you have, and how your life would be if you had to live on the street.  If you have holiday vacation and nothing to do with the time, think about going volunteering at a soup kitchen or running a drive for food or clothes.

hope you're having a good winter/transit strike.  : )

7

So the strike is finally on.  After considering all the options - local buses, taxis, shuttle to 34th + walking 30 blocks, train to Grand Central + walking 25 blocks, I think I'm actually going to stay home today.  I may drive Avraham into work cause I'm such a nice wifey.

I'm just not loving the option that I could get stranded on the UWS.  Call me crazy or whatever, I'd rather work from home.

TIRED

hat sale at my mother's house on sunday, fundraiser for the bais yaakov.  and then birthday party for grandma, how cute!  the kids are getting huge.  benny looks entirely different every time i see him now.  Crazy.  The big bad two year old, he's so cute, I love it!  and Koby's just awesome.  I love how he stands up to Aliza these days, finally.  Who has lost three of her upper front teeth, which are driving my sister nuts, so to me it's just funny.  : )

Ok, if I'm not actually going anywhere today, I may crawl back into bed and sleep untli 9.  ooh, yay.

6

the john lennon memorial last week was amazing.  it's strange how someone who died when i was a baby can have such an emotional effect on my life.  i went to the dakota, stood there and thought about john, and the world, and how so many people lost him that day.  i thought about yoko and cynthia and his little boys, about his friends, his fellow beatles, his fans.  i thought about what would drive someone to take someone else's life like that, how such a seemingly insignificant act (i held it in my hand, i pulled the little trigger) ends life.

i went to central park, to strawberry fields, and stood with the band and the crowd, and we sang john's songs and remembered him.  i left long before yoko came down - yoko.  whatever you may think of her, on that night i hope she was welcomed as the grieving widow she is.

along with that amazing experience, there was an elton john concert on nbc tonight.  i cry too easily.  at least it's happy tears tonight.

5

so fun last night - grocery shopping (we finally have good food in the house!)

so brekkie this morning was yummy yogurt, and last night i had te best salad.  this may not be exciting to you, but as someone who has not had real food around, this is big big news.

so off we go to jc penney to look for things - our microwave blew on friday, so not cool...

oy yoy yoy, have to go get dressed.

4

holiday season beyond rocks.  most of the music is great, the shopping is nice, and the weather gets just nippy enough that you want to stay in and cuddle.  the atmosphere is just so exciting.

music of the night:
twelve days of christmas (bob and doug)
grandma got run over by a reindeer (elmo and patsy)
silent night (enya)
so this is christmas (melissa ethridge)
little drummer boy (tori amos)
carol of the bells/christmas eve sarajevo (trans-siberian orchestra)

and i know this little boy who wouldlook so cute dressed as an elf.  who started this whole elf/santa's helper thing anyhow?  maybe i'll name my first kid santa's helper.  just for kicks and laughs, or something.

must find bed and collapse.

ridic cool!

http://www.tyndale.cam.ac.uk/jastrow/

i LURVE it

oh, the happy

i met george ross,  trump's right hand man.  he spoke at YU and went and i totally came off like an idiot (not such a stretch) and he was brilliant

avi

Please, if you have time to daven or just send good thoughts his way, Avraham Yehuda ben Chaya Esther is a very close family friend.  he's 17, and is going for surgery this Friday for melanoma to track it and see if it's spread.  It's a really scary time for all of us.  The doctors said that he didn't get it from sun exposure; it's just a gene that went nuts.

thanks

wow

tonight a bunch of us went with Midnight Run, a group of people who make run giving out food and neccessities  to the city's homeless population.

we had sandwiches, bottled waters, sweaters, shirts, socks, underwear, shoes, deodorant, razors, shaving cream, toothbrushes, toopaste, fresh (hot!) soup and coffee...

i have no idea how or why these people ended up on the street or in need of food and clothes.  one man said that he worked at the WTC, and when the restaurant he worked in was destroyed, he was left with nothing.  i can't begin to imagine it.

my thoughts are still scattered, but i'm pretty sure that i'm going to go again.

throat ow

but drisha's kickin', so i can't really so much complain.  now if i could just convince my throat to be happy...  : )

count me in

the proud, the few, the women of drisha

k

so, number one the lasagna came out more than yummy, if too wet.  why does that happen lately?  i used a lot less cheese than i usually do.  gr.

so, on a side note, i emailed Ryan (from martha stewart's apprentice) and he was kind enough to write back.  how cool of him.

i wish there were more cool normal people on tv.  i love watching the apprentice (both versions), i love learning how poeple think and seeing the little things that contribute to a less than stellar outcome.  i *really* love hearing the opnions of people who do Business because they bring a very different perspective to things than i do.  so it's nice to think that there are people there for good reasons, and not just to annoy or be crazy (too many examples to name here).

and now i have to run away and play games.  and you thought i wasn't blogging anymore...

lasagna

long flat noodles, curl
mix cheese and spice, add veggies
home made sauce is best

martha

hateful jim still safe
scary jaw yells "LIAR!" twice
i hope ryan wins

laugh, why don't you

squirming in my seat
the delivery is late
bladder mocking me

heads up

afternoon, lunch time.  pull out a bowl from the set i picked when i was much younger and really liked sunflowers.  take the eggs out of the fridge, crack one - okay, two - into the bowl.   debate using the stovetop, remember how effective it was to pop an egg in the microwave as a kid.  put the bowl in, and every 30 seconds, take it out and stir it up a bit with a fork.  take them out when they're done, fluffy, beautiful.  you can hear the steam in the eggs.  dig in with the fork, pulling out a beautiful hot piece of egg.   second bite, third bite - the steam sound gets louder.  then POP.  there's egg yolk on my arm, on the couch, on my face, in my hair, and in my eyes.  and it hurts.   put the eggs down, rush to the bathroom, and rinse out my eyes.  then storm back in, really angry, and EAT THOSE EGGS.  now they know who's boss in this equation.

happy halloween, i'm dressed up as a 20-something in pajamas.

it's not so much that i've lost interest in blogging as i've been away for over a month

although if i really wanted to, i could have been blogging that whole time.

something to think about.

also, why is creamy PB so good?  but then, sometimes, you really need the crunchy kind

hm

tension headache OW

head spinning

scranton, bayswater, scranton.  savti broke her ribs, grandma's in the hospital, savti had surgery on her mouth, grandma's getting a pacemaker.  i am happily in the house in a robe and slippers, enjoying the pure housiness of it.  i miss the apartment, but we'll back there soon enough - for now let me roam free.  play piano.  pick up a guitar.  havvee more than 3 rooms to walk in.

an artichoke a day keeps the body happy.  my nephew is beyond adorable.  i met someone new in town, and i actually like her.  this is shocking as i'm rather possesive (and territorial) and tend mostly to be annoyed when people move in.

i really love the library here.

enough thoughts?  maybe i can sit and read my book for a few minutes.

side point - when you've spent a morning making a huge delicious lasagna and someone puts it back in the oven to warm it up - make sure that it's covered and that they don't leave it in for 4 hours.  argh

shana tova

the last time i remember being so tired for so long i had epstein-barr

i don't really like living in riverdale

mostly cause my friends are not in riverdale

and i'm bored out of my mind

hope everyone has a wonderful new year

ccny hillel says

The City College of New York congratulates alumnus (Class of 1950) and
professor of The Hebrew University in Jerusalem Robert J. Aumann on his
winning the 2005 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences, along with Thomas C.
Schelling, for research on game theory.

You can find the New York Times article about his research and an
interview with Dr. Auman on the homepage of the College website. Look for
Mr. Aumann in the next issue of The Campus.

hello and happy new year

been busy, as you may have noticed from the less than regular blogging

happy busy

i like the people i grew up with

wish we lived closer to each other

or at least got togther once in a while not in the discomfort of the place where we grew up

i just

watched fever pitch for the first time, and i cried at the end.

not because ben and lindsey got back together, but because the red sox won!

woot!

i think i need to own this so i can relive that when ever i want.

new obsession

'glassbaby's are gorgeous, and i want a good number of them.  sadly can't afford them.

from ST (just made me laugh)

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions, and millions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again."

The money gained from 'T'he Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

yay yay

what an awesome day!  we went into jersey and went apple picking for an hour and a half - walked out with a lot of apples (exact poundage to be determined when i get up and go weigh them)

SO fun, SO yummy

wish i had taken a camera!

so fun

the mayor came to shul friday night - he had a lot to say, spoke well, and probably won a few more votes than he had before he walked in.  although, don't get me wrong, i'm sure he had plenty before he got there.  it was a really cool experience.

am SO tired - couldnt' fall asleep last night.  my back is unhappy and the rest of me is suffering for it.

is it a bad thing that i can watch the breakfast club whenever it's on tv and *always* enjoy it?

"i'm gonna be an air force ranger, i want to live a life of danger".  yeah, i've always had a thing for those bad boys

and like that (snaps) we're off
to pick apples with the HIR youth group

woohoo!

ah, the music of it...

so, i finally got all my old music back.  back story is that i had all this amazing music on my computer and at one point copied it onto discs to transfer to my dad's mac to put on my ipod.  then my (HP) computer completely died cause the fan was malfunctioning.  i sent my darling laptop to them for fixin', only to have it completely stop working three weeks after i got it back.  when i sent it in i wasn't able to turn it on, and therefor unable to back it up (yeah, i should have been backing up all along, but i'm lazy). and they for some reason decided that the way to fix the fan was to WIPE my hard drive.

assholes.

so, along with losing all of my music, i also lost everything i'd written in school - poetry, short stories, articles, and an interview with mikey.

some of that i've dug up here and there, but the music was gone, the cds had been trashed by my parents' very effective cleaning lady.

then i asked my brother if he had actually copied all of those cds to his computer along the way, and he told me that not only had he done that, but his friends had burned them to a dvd.

after a few months of nudging (and being a bit of an asshole myself, thank you), i got the dvd from him.

the velvet undeground and atari tracks were mostly not functional, but i got just about everything lese back.  yay for music again!

so i'm now listening to the indigo girls for the first time in forever.  van morrison, MxPx, moxy fruvous, moulin rouge (those all have 'm's in them).  kid fears (with michael stipes) is one of the most powerful songs i've ever heard in my life. 

also, remind me in the future that people with herniated dics in their backs should not be moving furniture, nomatter how old the painter dude is.  cause he's just fine, and i've been in agony for 3 days.  RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i really do enjoy roaring.

point system

point one - i really enjoy this free lancing thing

point two - when you go for a blood test and ask the person if they need more than one vial, and they laugh at you and assure you taht one is plenty, don't you have the right to be annoyed when you get a call that you need to go back because they do actually need more of your blood?

point three - i'm watching head cases, which i'll never see again after next week - hello VM!

hard to wait

kevin smith agrees -

VM rocks

from a friend

A close family friend of mine is having a dangerous and scary
procedure on his heart iy'H tomorrow morning and I was hoping I could
ask of you that you daven for him--even just one tehillim or an amen in
his zechus would be so very much appreciated.

 

Please daven for Tzvi ben Feiga Devorah to have a refuah sh'lema.

 

I will keep you posted on his status...

 

Thank you and Tisku l'Mitzvot.

i'd like to point out

that at my party i had a total of 4 drinks - from dinner (at 7:30) til we left (at midnight)

and i woke up in the middle of the night totally feeling nauseous

i'd like to remind you all of how much i used to be able to drink


of course i don't mention there that it was the lack of food for two days and 11 drinks in 45 minutes topped off by a schwarma that really got to me

conversations

about genetics

if both genetic donors are carriers of a disease, there's a 25% chance for each pregnancy that the child will have the disease.

if they are both carriers for more than one disease, there's a 25% chance for each disease in each potential pregnancy.

the options are as follows:

1. the couple can decide not to try for their own child and adopt

2. the couple can take sperm and eggs and create embryos in a lab, testing each before implanting.  this is expensive, but still less expensive than the medical bills incurred by having and raising (and/or treating) a child with a fatal disease.

3. the couple can take their chances, getting pregnant naturally, then testing the placenta and/or amnio fluid, then aborting.

4. the couple can take their chances and carry every pregnancy to full term.

so there are a few things that really disturb me in all this.

first of all, it's sad that people would have to choose to keep trying and aborting.  it's scarring, both physically and emotionally, and i'm not sure how i feel about it from a moral/ethical standpoint.

it's only a skip and a jump to feeling a bit uncomfortable with testing embryos.  i think i depends on what you're testing for.  some diseases are fatal, some are not immediately fatal.

but what keeps ringing in my head is that, for eastern european jews, cystic fibrosis is on the list of diseases that are tested.  does that mean that a couple wouldn't implant an embryo with CF?  all i can think of is mikey, and that if this had all been available 25-30 years ago, he would probably have not been born.  mikey added so much to this world, and changed so many lives - the idea that all of this testing could wipe such a soul from the earth makes me nervous.  edgy.  uncomfortable.

and how long until we're testing for other abnormalities?  are we going to wipe mental retardation form the earth?  should we be checking embryos for a certain sex before implanting, once we're testing the DNA anyhow?

i am 100% behind having options to avoid the heartache and pain of bringing a child into this world who will die within a few years.  but i'm not sure how far beyond that the line should be drawn.

hee

St. Peter is captured by the Romans and they try to get him to recounce
Christ. First they threaten him with 50 years hard labour in prison.
St. Peter looks them in the eye and laughs, "With the love of my Lord
and Saviour, 50 years will seem but the blink of an eye."

Angered
they threaten him with torture. Saint Peter gives a defiant chuckle and
says "With Lord Jesus on my side the worst torture you can devise will
seem but the soft tickling of a downy feather."

Finally the
Romans have had enough of St. Peter's smugness and they threaten him
with crucifixion. St. Peter laughs, "Crucifixion? Feh! I could do that
standing on my head."

26

happy birthday to me!  happy birthday to me!  happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  happy birthday to me!  and many mooooooooooooooooooooooooore...

yay yay party tonight - if you don't know where or when, call or email me

if only

mad about you had never had that baby, they'd still be on the air

but then again, if ellen hadn't come out, thereby having her show cancelled, we'd never have the pleasure of her daily quirkiness at 10 am

it's nice to watch performers who are enjoying the performance as much as the audince is

free ipod

you can get a free ipod through http://promo.glam.com/?r=ETGSRlUVJBWXAVMGBCgL

clickm through from that link to give me referal  - take a quiz and get 10 friends to do the same, and you're in.

musica

i finally got the DVD of music from my brother

it's awesome to have mymusic again

sucks that all my velvet underground is corrupted

most of the ataris too

will have to try to fix it or track it all down again

*<

huh, look at that

it occurs to me that i love winter time

i really like my coats

and boots

and pants

and hats

and snow

it's just winter time in the city that i don't like

this story keeps making me cry

Anatomy of a Senseless Crime: A Baby's Stabbing

oy

the showcase prize today the price is right was a 6 day trip to new orleans

hence the problems with taping a show 2 weeks or more in advance...

too funny

props to EvilTony

catch up

the greenday concert rocked, although jimmy eat world should have stopped writing music after their first two big hits.  billy joe is as funy and offensive as ever, love him!  tre is and always will be one of my favorite people.  the idiot girls who sat behind us and shriked and threw popcorn at everyone should be pummeled with their fake punk outfits that they bought at urban outifitters or wherever-the-fuck.

i kinda miss being 15 and angry all the time.

in other news, my littlest sister-in-law has run off for a year to israel.   will be very hard to not see her for so long.

my back is feeling like shite, and i've become ever more clumsy in my old age.  i fried up some chicken tonight, managing to burn myself.  when avs got home and helped out, i went to the other room to get a drink of water, tripped, and literally snapped my toe backwards, spraining it.  luckily enough it was painful enough to make me forget about the burns on my fingers.

i hope marty wins INXS.  the things he did with britney's crapfest song...  gave me the shivers.  if marty fronts INXS, i'd actully bother listening to them.

dont' know if you heard about the 6 year old who was carrying his 15 month old brother, leading his cousins and a few toddlers from their apartment building - they were evacuated, and dropped somewhere (rumor is on a bridge with about 4000 other people who needed to be further evacuated), and their parents were left in the building.  the kids were found today wandering together, the 6 year old in charge.

christ, i hope my kids and my extended family's and friends children will be smart and good-hearted and strong.  poor little guy - no 6 year old should have to be an adult like that.

also, did i mention how annoying and not talented jordis is?

so, i think you know what's up with me.   how're you?

free ipod

so as you may know, avraham and i both received free ipods from this web site. the chap is that you complete a free trial of something or apply for a credit card (you can choose to cancel after the free trial), and get 5 friends to do the same.

my father would like to get an ipod and is working on his list of friends. unfortunately, avraham and i can't help out because we already have used the site. so if anyone is interested in getting a free ipod through the system and will be singing up anyway, or is just exceedingly nice and wants to hel out my father, please go to http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=12331530 and sign up. if you don't use that specific link, my father doesn't get the referral. thank you very much!

also, side note, they do soemtimes send these fun t-shirts along with the ipod. i love these people - we also got a huge tv from them (gave it to my sister for her anniversary).

Charge2Go

to be perfectly clear, i do not profit from anything that i post here.

that said, i have to share this amazing product, brought to my attention by an OU email (i just bought one, actually)

verbatim from the email:

Introducing...Charge2Go

Unlimited Power for Your Phone...Anywhere!
This award-winning, innovative product takes 'on the go' cell phone charging and makes it simple and sustainable. Just pop in one AA battery, hook the cable to your cell phone, and Charge2Go will convert the energy in the battery into power for your cell phone with no electrical outlet needed. Since you can find AA batteries all over the world, it's easy to throw this in a bag or in your glove compartment and charge up your cell phone or extend your talk time during an important call.
Reg. $24.99 Sale: $21.99

Start Talking as soon as you plug it into your phone!

Charge2Go is the first reusable cell charger that makes sense. Take Charge2Go anywhere for up to 3 extra hours of talk time. Talk as long as you want and enjoy your mobile phone features guilt-free. No more need to cut calls short?you?ll still have power when you need it. Gain constant access to the wireless world! This product is 100% reliable, mobile and safe. It works on a regular AA battery available anywhere in the world. This is an important accessory for everyone in the family.

Attaches to Any Cell Phone!

How It Works (4 Simple Steps):

1. Load a single AA battery into the Charge2Go and a small, red light will begin flashing.
2. Connect your phone-specific connector to the flashing unit. (All 7 connectors come with each Charge2Go unit)
3. Connect your phone to the connector.
4. Your phone indicates that it is charging. You may start talking at any time.

This product has won the coveted Consumer Electronics Show Innovation Award for 2005. Charge2Go has received rave reviews in the New York Times, Newsweek, and many consumer electronics magazines.

This is another great, useful, sensible, inexpensive product - based on technology developed in Israel.

the product can be purchased at http://www.jewishsoftware.com/products/Charge2Go_789.asp.  with tax and shipping, it came to $32.  i plan on keeping it in the car, always available for a guest who forgot his or her recharger or for a road trip when our phones are dying.   i think it's quite brilliant.

need white teeth?

better than crest and cheaper too -

Cambridge Teeth Whitening Strips

go nuts and support a poor pverseas scholar.  : )

um

the new febreeze laundry commercials are freaking me out

somehow

even though no one comments on here, or even reads it really, i have more comments than posts.

mythbusters rocks.  i want a job where i get to shoot up a car to see if it explodes or if you can hide behind it during a gun fight.  i'm looking forward to them sucking up the "scuba diver".

yay yay Vm, only 5  more weeks.  5 more weeks!  gonna die.  accidentaly read part of a poiler, upset that i know stuff before hand.  what's the fun of watching a show when you know what's coming?

VM

A long time ago, we used to be friends

But I haven't thought of you lately at all

If ever again, a greeting I send to you,

Short and sweet to the soul is all I intend.
 

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh
 

Come on now, honey,

Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.

Just remember me when you're good to go

Come on now, sugar,

Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.

Just remember me when.
 

It's something I said, or someone I know.

Or you called me up, maybe I wasn't home.

Now everybody needs some time,

And everybody know

The rest of it's fine

And everybody knows that.
 

Come on now, sugar,

Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.

Just remember me when you're good to go

Come on now, honey,

Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.

Just remember me when.
 

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends, hey hey
 

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh
 

A long time ago, we used to be friends

But I haven't thought of you lately at all

If ever again, a greeting I send to you,

Short and sweet to the soul is all I intend.
 

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends a long time ago.

We used to be friends,

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

A, ah-ahh-ahh-ahh

simply because i didn't tell you before

i quit my job

now you know

also, i miss you.   we'll come visit as soon as we can (winter break?)

pashut

hainyan hi sheani lo rotza lachshov oh afilu lihyot bsociety

aval ani ken rotza laharog et haish sheoseh raash kol hayom

shachachti eich lachshov
eich lhargish
kol sheani margisha hayom zeh kev sheani choshevet yachol lihyot blood clot

kacha ani lo rotza ldaber anglit oh ivrit, rak shneihem

ki ani bemet shneihem

hetzi news vhetzi reality tv

dofeket

fucking austria

click pops to full size

new york times

An Israeli soldier and his sister, a settler in Neve Dekalim, comfort each other near a synagogue.

so

someone i never met before approached us at lunch (to talk to someone esle at the table).  he saw that i was wearing an orange shirt and blew up at me.  his son volunteered for the army in israel for a year, and is apparently stationed in gaza.  i feel for the kid and his father, as i feel for every soldier.  i do not, however, stand for every problem in israel that his son had encountered, or the people who are making trouble down there.

i hate watching jew turn against jew.  i hate the politicking.  i hate that saying that i do not agree with dismantling settlements could ever be interpreted as standing against tzahal.  i hate to think what my grandfather would have had to say about all this. (i miss you)

am very sad.  have been very sad for days.  i have nou doubt that if i were there i would have thrown up long ago.

my soul is crying.  it's crying because jews don't feel for other jews, because israelis don't recgonize fellow israelis as country men.  they see them as enemies.  i fear civil war.  i fear an end to israel.  i think it may happen in my lifetime if we don't prove strong enough to fight for it the way people did before us.

our biggest mistake is to think that we're like anyone else, that we have the luxury to relax and take things for granted.  that's not our birthright.  nothing is granted to us for free.

arutz sheva

Soldier and protester embrace. (Photo: Yishai Fleisher)
side point - yishai is one of my brother's old friend's, who along with alex traiman, ari abromowitz, and a few others (including yisha's wife) from YU are the voices of israel national radio, which you can find on arutz sheva.

the new york times

With tears and a shove, an Israeli boy tries to push away one of the border guards sent to evacuate the settlement at Neve Dekalim, in Gaza.

in other news

we have a car
and avraham still can't drive

i feel depressed and it has nothing to do with anything i just said

...

Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu Calls for Fasting and Recitation of Psalms

17:17 Aug 16, '05 / 11 Av 5765

(IsraelNN.com) Former Chief
Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu is calling for the recitation of Psalms and a
day of fasting as (D)isengagement Day approaches, Wednesday, August
17th.

Speaking on behalf of his father, Rabbi Yossi Eliyahu told Arutz-7 that
people are urged to increase Torah study, repeatedly recite Psalms 91
and 20, and those who are able, to accept upon themselves to observe
Wednesday as a fast day, beginning in the morning.

half asleep

this morning, i had the best blog entry planned out in my head.  catchy title, everything.  : (

good morning, good morning, good morning

am in a funk

hey, there, old neighborhood

Police Investigating Swastikas Painted Throughout Washington Heights Apartment

affectionately known as the crackhouse

update:

"I'm happy to report that Dr. Michael Harris (the pediatric oncologist
who needed a liver transplant because of hepatitis acquired via a
needle stick) got a liver yesterday, and had the transplant surgery
late yesterday afternoon. It's still too early to know about potential
rejection or other complications, but this is obviously a great
development that I wanted to pass along to you. Thanks for your
tefilos, and I hope all is well with you and yours."

a

there's something just so right about sitting with avraham atthe end of a stressful day - just look at him lightens my heart.  it's amazing to sit back and be happy, and catually be comfortable with that.

i love you

blood sugar crash

during cool-down stretches i suddenly felt light-headed and took a break.

then i felt even worse on the way home, vision starting to blur.

landed at the front door after the most tortorous walk home, wanting to puke violently.

managed to not pass out.

yay!  yay for having messed up blood sugar and yay for not drinking enough water and yay for not eating enough food and yay in general for being a total idiot.

crash outside of toronto

it's not clear exactly how, but a plane that was landing in canada basically fell of of the runway into a ravine, where it went into flames in seconds. eye witnesses saw the plane land successfully, then back up - a lightning storm hit as they were landing. the plane cracked in half as it fell, so it's unclear who if anyone could have survived. the plane is still burning, with occasional fireballs bursting out.

there is a very good chance that no one has survived, but there have been reports of survivors who managed to get out and run, calling from under a bridge for help.

my heart goes out to everyone on that plane and all their loved ones.

I'm glad to update (11 PM) that it seems everyone survived!

suzuki is on a roll

ferenza!

god, i would be embarrassed if i had to act in that commercial...  unless they gave me a free car.  *grin*

my grandmother's on her way back to israel this week, and i have not yet found a way to open up and have a relationship with her.  i've  been closed off for 10 years.  it's like this other person lives in my head, blocking off my emotions when it comes to her.

it should be illegal for commercials to be so loud.

beyond amusing

i found Biblical Sandals, where the shoes are sold to matriarchs, partiarchs, and little lambs. hee.

trials and

i am not only no longer skinny, but it would be a kindness to call me chubby.

i ran into tj maxx with my family, and looked for skirts.  i found a huge collection of beautiful skirts, but none larger han a size 8.  last i wore a size 8, i was in israel (shortly after high school, when that picture of me was taken - look how young i was once!  hee).  all the skirts that were in my size looked like they had been made for old people who were a little blind.

i got really annoyed and set out to find beautiful clothes for larger women, and here's what i came up with:

http://www.casual-plus.com/ - gorgeous skirts and dresses
http://www.avenue.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Home?storeId=326&langId=-1 - small selection but great prices
http://catherines.charmingshoppes.com/home.asp
http://www.silhouettes.com/default.asp
http://www.coldwatercreek.com/Home.aspx
http://www.barriepace.com/bp/default.asp
http://store.nordstrom.com/Default.asp?origin=tab-logo

just be careful to search within your own size - there were a few times when i accidentally wandered into the too large area.

you can always turn to JC Penney or other similar places that have some clothes for the non-stick variety, but i wasn't crazy about the selection.  i also felt that the clothes they list haven't changed since i was a kid.

the thing i really like about the places that i found is that they all accomodate for chests, hips, and tushes.

i was into old navy's larger stuff for a while, but i realized that they take the same cut for a size 2 and just extend it, as if women grow proportionately everywhere at once.  simply not true.  that's why their pants look SO bad on bigger people - they adhere to the backside like a slightly shrunked second skin.

anyhow, this is all because i'm going to a wedding, so here' my outfit:

with a camel seude jacket over it.  now all i need is a hat and shoes.  yay!

side rant - size 12 and above is considered plus size in most stores.  way to make people crazy.

i just woke up

i finally caved and bought reading glasses to stop my eye from making me crazy(er)

we (the royal bronstein we) decided that if i had a tv show with an unlimited budget, it would basically be david letterman's show.  which may explain why i had that dream in high school where we met and got married.

ok, that sounds lame.  he dream was cool.  i randomly got invited to some party, and i was hearing this pink gown and there was champagne and dancing and madness, and i got totally bored.  so i wandered away from the main room, and found a dark room where some guy was watching football and smoking a cigar.  so i sat down and watched the game with him and we talked, and when the game was over and he turned on the light, it was david letterman.  etc, we got married.  the end.

in a different dream i was adopted by michael jordan.  MJ!  speaking of, i used to be a huge Bulls fan (my graduation present was a surprise drive into chicago, from pennsylvania, with my father and my siblings, to see a Bulls game).  i was very into dennis rodman (bought and read 'bad as i want to be').  he was disgustingly talented.  it's a shame he'll mostly be remembered for VH1 worstly dressed when he showed up as his own bride.  hee.

whatever happened to the Tsunami Relief Fund?  did america decide the crisis was over?

blah

this may explain the tic in my eye for the past few days

3 am (4 am is a better song)

what do i do all night?  apparently i fill out scholarship apps.

also, more lyrics no one knows but we all should:

Heart and soul, I fell in love with you
Heart and soul, the way a fool would do,
madly
Because you held me tight
And stole a kiss in the night

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored
Lost control, and tumbled overboard,
gladly
That magic night we kissed
There in the moon mist

Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling
Never before were mine so strangely willing

But now I see, what one embrace can do
Look at me, it's got me loving you
madly
That little kiss you stole
Held all my heart and soul

thoughts on the week

we had a friend of avraham's over for diner the other night, which was overall a lovely time. he mentioned that his father was at a conference for victims of terror, and in inquired why. he told me that his little sister, malki, had been killed in the sbarro bombing (Aug 9, 2001).

the family set up a website, Keren Malki in her memory.  i recommend taking a few minutes and acquainting yourself with Malki Roth.

We also spent this weekend at the brillaton.  i really had a wonderful time.  i have to gather my thoughts a bit more before i can comment on the Q&A with prof. Tamar Ross.

so, Shavua Tov, world.  i think it's time for a good night's sleep.

HBP

i really want to discuss the book already.  am waiting patiently for the two week mark, giving people time to read it before castingmy spoilers across the universe.

monopoly

$39246

Emergency Contact

Paramedics will turn to a victim's cell phone for clues to that person's identity.  You can make their job much easier with a simple idea that they are trying to get everyone to adopt: ICE.

ICE stands for In Case of Emergency.  If you add an entry in the contacts list in your cell phone under ICE, with the name and phone no. of the person that the emergency services should call on your behalf, you can save them a lot of time and have your loved ones contacted quickly.  It only takes a few moments of your time to do.

Paramedics know what ICE means and they look for it immediately.

more from mia

You Know You're From or In Pennsylvania If:

You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly."  And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."

You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Peeay).How many other states do that?

You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" ( A Ground Hog) is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.

You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."

At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long.

You know what a "Hex sign" is.

You know what a "State Store" is, and your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.

You own only three condiments "salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup".

Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same.  (Those from NY find this "barbaric".)

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.

You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.

You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich and a Primanti's, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.

You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.

Customers ask the waitress for "drippy eggs" for breakfast.

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.

You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Ohio,or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.

A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.

You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snow brush in your trunk, even if you live in
the south.

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.

Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.

"You guys" and "ynz"  is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.

You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?"  (Didyoueatyet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.

You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.

You actually understand these jokes and send them on to other Pennsylvanians.  Plus friends who you want to know ---why you think the way you do.

woohoo!

$34,936 total assets.

also,i realized that going to my parents is a real problem - the bed they have for us is a full (as opposed to our king at home), and we're not used to the smal space.  in turning over the other night, avraham's arm conneced with my nose.  still in pain, a bit disappointes that i don't have a black eye to show off.  : )

and before the stupid comments start, yes, he beats me regularly...

victory is mine

it took me three hours, but i beat the computer at (old-school) monopoly with total assets of 28,579.  and that's after spending the first hour with everything mortgaged...

the wonder of it all

my upstairs neighbor makes a ton of noise. i'm convinced that throughout her apartment she has hoists with bags of potatoes and small bodies that she every so often drops just for the effect. i also am convinced taht she weighs about 500 pounds, because the minute she gets up in the morning, it wakes me up - the heavy footsteps, rolling chair, banging, dropping things. i actually thought that there was an entire family up there, which would account for a lot of the strange noises we hear, but no, apparently it's just this one woman.

we got back from july 4th weekend to find that our ceiling had developed a leak. the leak landed on the couch, my computer, and 2 of our remotes. my computer wasn't working (avs fixed it) and the couch smelled like sweet mold.

then 2 days ago the leak started again, with actual drops that we could see while we were in the room. so avs went up to let 'them' know. essentially, when he told her that somethign was dripping through our ceiling and into our couch, she said (nastily) that it was her air conditioner, and she wasn't about to turn it off in this heat. no "i'm sorry, but...".

i hear her squeaking her feet right now.

i decided that i'm going to have my (very tall) brother hold my (very energetic) nephew to the ceiling and let him bang his feet as long as they can hold the pose. i would totally drip something into her hair, but i dont know who she is.

hee - i'd love to kno how many people take what i say here seroously. no, i'm not going to disturb the crazy old lady - i'm just going to wait for her to die.

oh, happy

my good friend is pregnant, and i'm so excited for her!  just needed to put that out there.  : )

home warming party

excellent party yesterday - small crowd, all people we like.

good food, good music, great friends.

and then yummy chinese.  yay!!!!!!!

must go fall asleep.

side note

jimi hendrix's wild thing is ridiculous

home warming

having this party on sunday

need to make food

need to get my frikkin hair fixed from the chop job of erev pesach

am sitting in a t-shirt listening to launch radio
mostly cause i can

longest day

i may never sleep again

london

i have this burning in gut now (for so long)

i feel like if i don't throw up soon it's going to consume me

the news this morning has me uneasy - i don't feel anything that makes think something happened to someone i know, i just feel general unease

i'm waiting to hear from raffi

i can't fully accept what's happened
again

back from

we got back from an extended weekend at the lake last night.

we were talking about it a bit while we were there, but why is it that no one really warns you how hard the beggining stages of marriage are?

it would have been nice to at least have a head's up. i mean, we're not idiots, we knew it would be challenging, but everyone talks about it like it's the best years of their marriage, and i think they're smoking crack. they only love remembering it because they were younger and better looking then, i'm guessing.

i'm looking forward to a fwe years from now, when we're betting at communicating with each other, when we're better at intuiting what the other one is thinking, when we have a family and a house and more permanent feel to our life.

must make dinner, and we have nothing to eat. hee.

why would you bother?

i don't know if this is general knowledge, but when people post things to blogs, the person who runs the blog can see the IP from which each post was made.  Which means that when someone posts to the blog board pretending to me, not only is it silly but i know who did it.  so, keeping this as friendly as possible seeing as i barely slept last night, let's review the rules for using this blog:

1. don't troll
2. don't post comments under someone else's name
3. if you post comments under someone else's name in the future, i will replace the post with your IP address

i'm going to delete the offending post from the blog board and call this settled for now.

anyone else here ever work at JCC camp?

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish
You're never alone when you say you're a Jew
So when you're not home
And you're somewhere kind of 'newish'
The odds are--don't look far--
'Cause they're Jewish, too.

Some Jews live in tents and some live in pagodas
And some Jews pay rent 'cause the city's not free
Some Jews live on farms in the hills of Minnesota
And some Jews wear no shoes and sleep by the sea.

Amsterdam, Disneyland, Tel-Aviv---
Oh, they're miles apart
But when we light the candles on Sabbath eve
We share in the prayer in each one of our hearts

And some Jews wear hats
And some Jews wear sombreros
And some wear k'fiahs to keep out the sun
Some Jews live on rice, and some live on potatoes
Or waffles, felafels, or hamburger buns.

Amsterdam, Disneyland, Tel-Aviv---
Oh, they're miles apart
But when we light the candles on Sabbath eve
We share in the prayer in each one of our hearts.

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish
You're never alone when you say you're a Jew
So when you're not home
And you're somewhere kind of 'newish'
The odds are--don't look far--
'Cause they're Jewish, too.
The odds are--don't look far---
They're Jews just like you.

not to be beaten by the following brilliant work:
HaMotzi LeHem Min HaAretz, we give thanks to God for bread.  Our voices join in song together as our daily prayer is said: Baruh Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech Haolam, HaMotzi Lehem Min HaAretz, Amen!

you need to hear it sung to appreciate the beauty of it...

mr. wendal

speaking of songs, i'm not sure that as a kid i fully realized the meaning of arrested development's mr. wendal.  i mean, i got that it was about homeless people, and their worth as human, but the song resonates more now as i look back.

Bobby Darin in my head

Somewhere beyond the sea
      Somewhere waitin’ for me
      My lover stands on golden sands
      And watches the ships that go sailin’.
 
      Somewhere beyond the sea
      She's there watchin’ for me
      If I could fly like birds on high
      Then straight to her arms I’d go sailin’.
    
      It's far beyond the stars
      It's near beyond the moon
      I know beyond a doubt
      My heart will lead me there soon.
 
      We'll meet beyond the shore
      We'll kiss just as before
      Happy we'll be beyond the sea
      And never again I'll go sailin'.
 
      I know beyond a doubt
      My heart will lead me there soon
      We'll meet … I know we'll meet … beyond the shore
      We'll kiss just as before.
 
      Happy we'll be beyond the sea
      And never again I'll go sailin'.
 
      No more sailin' …
      So long sailin' …
      Bye, bye sailin'...
      Move on out, captain …
      So long, ensign …

about damn time

War of the Worlds / Tom Cruise Boycott

*sigh*

law and order svu is too good.  every so often i need to stop watching it because it's so overwhelming.

i seem to have a thing for darkness -
Veronica Mars
CSI
CSI Miami
Without a Trace
Law and Order SVU
LaO Trial by Jury

i was into Rescue Me for a while but now that we no longer have FX it's hard to catxh up on - TWoP's recaps are too confusing when you haven't seen the ep (i.e. for familiarity with the characters).

used to be into Nip/Tuck, but it got to be too weird and too gross.

Although i can also spend many a happy hour watching golden girls, who's the boss, yes dear, king of queens...

today i watched hunter, which i dimly recall from my childhood. good stuff.

and we catch jeopardy and wheel of forture every so often to prove just how smart we are, although nothing is as good as watching win ben stein 's money to realize how little we know.

i enjoy being a girl

there's one thing i hate above all others as regards being a Jewish woman - we're not really taught what is Halacha versus what is Chumra.

i remmeber as a kid i was at my aunt's house and she was eating tuna fish and egg salad.  i suggested that she compliment it with cottage cheese.  she looked at m in horror and said "you can't eat milk with fish!"

i was so embarrassed.  i had no idea that i'd been over this my whole life, that my parents didn't know!

i did my daughterly duty and told my mother.  she laughed for a second, then told me that it's a chassidishe chumra.

this has stuck with me for years.  the certainty in my aunt's voice as she declared what she thought was Halacha.  the dread in my mind.

years later this was mirrored for me in a much sadder way.  a relative of mine had been raised not talking to boys, and decided that she wanted to start hanging out with them.  apparently her mother had taught her that talking to them was as much of a Halachic problem as touching around with them.  so guess what?  within days of talking to them, she was fooling around as well.  i called her and tried to explain that she could befriedn guys and still maintain negiah laws, but the point was lost on her.

i worry about having kids, about raising daughters.  i'm scared to undereducate them and leave them vulnerable to a world that would rather saddle them with chumra than deal with the ramifications of a simple Halachic life.  i'm scared to overeducate and have them stand out from the crowd, mocked and ridiculed by others for their knowledge.

please tell me that there's another choice?

ra

some fool who claims that he's frum but gives a bad name to frum communities everywhere just accused me of being amoral because i called him on the fact that he keeps posting from the same IP address under different names.

avraham is thrilled to be married to an amoral woman.

it's interesting to me that people can be so nasty about everyone else, yet when someone else calls them on something, they fall apart.

also im not sure what it means that someone would talk about the halachic ramifactions of women being on display, but have no problem being on the internet.

if i wanted to stay closeted (and i'm not knocking that) i would go all the way, much like my [extended] family does.  no computer, no internet, no secular education after high school, no movies, no pop culture.  but i would also be sure to always show that i am knowledgable about the Jewish world, respect other Jews, and other Rabbis.  RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT.

yes, i know, i'm not the most respectful person out there - but i'm also not shooting off my mouth telling other people that they're wrong for not living up to my standards.  ok, i'm doing thathere, but this is my space.

i definitely don't go to other people communities and simchas and is in judgement on them.  at times i'm amused or taken aback, or even snarky, but when it comes down to it, people do all sorts of strange things.  someone who can't deal with that needs to grow up.

i wish everyone could meet my uncle and spend a day with him, just to see what humility respect and understanding are all about.  he's pretty much as religious as you can get, but puts family above all else - including my other uncle's family, who is conservative.  he is happy and proud when we come to his neighborhood for smachot, and does all he can to come to ours (he lives in Israel).  i have never seen any sign of conflict around him.

now, he would definitely not do things the way i do.  but he would never go in a public area populated with people who do things like i do and tell us that we are not up to his standards, and therefore violating halacha.  it would pain him to think about it.

so, yeah, i'm a little annoyed that someone would come out and portray a more right wing community as being so preachy, ignorant, and narrow-minded.  yes, jews are all different, but at the end of the day we're one family, and we all (especially me) need to ease up and accept thehell out of each other already.

movie thoughts

we both saw last of the mohicans for the first time the other night.  i cried a lot towards the end (i'm a sap).

interesting to note that there are actually still mohicans around, contrary to the title.

i was trying to find a huron site that would touch upon their depiction in the book/movie.  no success as of yet.

am thinking of taking classes in native american history next semester.  it's frustrating that so much of what i think i know is still based on a 4th grade text book.

Guilty of manslaughter

Ex-Klansman found guilty of manslaughter in ’64 slayings 

PHILADELPHIA, Miss. - An 80-year-old former Ku Klux Klansman was convicted of manslaughter Tuesday in the 1964 slayings of three civil rights workers — exactly 41 years after they disappeared.

oh said fred

in an effort to get healthier, i've been on the south beach diet.  i made a yummy grilled cheese sandwich, snacked on apple and peanut butter, etc.

i'm so tired - now that my hip's been bothering me, i've been having ahrd time sleeping.  it seems that no mantter whaty position i try, i'm putting stress on the joint.  did you ever feel like a joint needs to be cracked, or get your finger jammed?  that's how my hip feels.  it's driving my crazy.  yesterday i skipped my vicodin for the day because i don't want to have my body get used to it.  i also wanted to see what my pain levels were at, which you cajn't do on meds.  etc.

my doctor was discussing ways of getting around the pain, but that's not the bottom line for me - for me it's fixing the problem.  while the pain is unpleasant, i'd rather experience it and know something's wrong so it can be fixed.  i don't like the idea of blocking pain as an answer.  i try not to take anything when i have a headache (unless i get a migraine and can't function, in which case i take excedrin migraine and go to sleep in hopes it will be gone when i wake up).

but this is beyond.  i have this constant tug of war lately between wanting to be able  to get around and knowing that pain is my body's way of telling me when to stop.

too much.  i'm going to have some PB.

yummy grilled cheese

vicodin makes you sleepy

natural birth

TLC baby story - one of my secret indulgences.

but it's raised some questions for me.  some of these women want to have natural childbirth, but after 10 hours of labor they get wheeled in for caesarean, or they're given pitocin, or they'll take an epidural.  so i'm confused re: what they mean by natural.  especially after hearing from my mom's generation that some of them were in labor for 36 hours...  ?

i would have assumed that that meant using a midwife and avoiding medical intervention unless absolutely necessary.  does that exist in hospitals?  i looked around and saw that some hospitals list midwives on their staff, buti'm not sure what the exact role they play is.

yay for Shavuot

yay for vacation and sleep...

unclear why, but i was up at 5:30 this morning

too tired to think

my boss thinks i may need to go on disability because there are days when i just can't come in andbecause i have to leave early/come late all the time due to dr appointments.

i don't know how to process that.

how's things?

been less then mobile for a while now, it's hard core getting to me.  i'm going crazy.  the apartment is beautiful although i have a shitload of stuff that needs to be put away that i can't really take care of.  annoyance.  on the other hand because standing is my thing, i've been painting trim the apartment.  it looked better when i was being more patient.  oh, well.

so how's things with you?

title

for the last time, blog-city's new system sucks.  gr.

A Lyric, by Dani Weiss (written long ago)

There once was this one dude who came into this place

To save all the dudes and dudettes who lived there, man.

He was way strong and buff with a really good face,

Knew how to party, and crush lots of beer cans. 

The head honcho of the city needed his help

To get rid of this sucky monster who’d invaded.

When he saw the dude he thought he was just a whelp

But the dude said “Yo, man, you’re just jaded.” 

He got the people of the city to work together

And fight the good fight against the ugly thing.

He asked the women to dress in metal and leather

And had them each accessorize with a nose ring. 

The name of this dude, by the way, was Jason,

the greatest partier known to man.

When drunk he could puke into the slop basin –

His distance and aim helped his secret plan. 

The first night he was in town, they had a party

And got wild and happy with plenty of ale.

The people there thought he was a total smarty

The epitome of an almost adult male. 

That night, passing out, they heard a scary sound

Which meant the monsters were on their way.

Jason, as always, was rather profound,

And fit right in with that great cliché. 

He organized the people to stand and fight

And kept them brave in the creeping dark.

He promised them parties, that wondrous knight,

Full of hyper charged music in the local park. 

They stood and held strong in the first attack

Giving as good as they got.

They beat the enemy so far back

That by dawn they had almost forgot. 

Dawn came, and with it, Jason’s demands

To build a fortress to protect them.

The locals organized all their hands

And worked to the sounds of Eminem. 

 

 

The girls, dressed like hotties to Jason’s delight

Made rounds with pitchers of water and ale.

In the sun’s dawning graces they felt no fright

They all had faith that they would prevail. 

By night the scene was different, a bit –

The children were gathered in a back room.

Jason and his men would never submit,

They would fight to demolish the dreaded doom. 

That night – what a night! They fought against a fire

That threatened to consume all they had.

And just when their prospects were looking dire

They beat the bad guys, and beat them bad. 

The enemy retreated as fast as they could,

With a plan to return the next day.

Jason and his men searched for help in the wood,

Stopping for sips of their Perrier. 

They found an old woman whose advice was real groovy

She told them of things they had not known.

(If only they had watched the movie)

And now the bad guys’ cover was thrown. 

They tiptoed into the pad of the people they hated

So Jason could kill the bad guys’s mom.

I know it sounds harsh, but to rebuild

They needed to avoid their own Vietnam. 

Well, Jason, our hero, he killed that old bitch

Even thought he was underwater.

The thing went without a hitch,

If you can say that of bloody slaughter. 

So, this pissed off the bad guys in a major way

But it also freaked them out.

They fell into complete disarray

Which isn’t a good thing before a big bout. 

That night they returned, and Jason was fearless!

He fought and he clawed his way through the horde,

The whole place was as hot as a furnace.

But he never relinquished his faithful sword. 

With a thrust and a “Dude!” a parry and “Sweet!”

He ripped apart the big cheese.

At that point the bad guys were totally beat,

And the rest of the night was a breeze. 

Now Jason, you know, is beyond compare.

This battle not even his greatest deed.

But here’s a thought – beware

Cause Jason did all of this high on weed. 

It’s hard to say how much of it happened,

Hard to say just what was enhanced.

Hard to find a word that rhymes with happened,

But now this story has advanced. 

Jason, our hero, a boy of nineteen

High school drop out from Seattle.

He couldn’t have don it if he was clean –

As it is he won a beatific battle.

macy's yesterday

so we went to macy's yesterday, spent most of our time in The Cellar (possibly my favorite place to browse).  we found the world's coolest knife block - it's built in a case that locks, so your kids can't get the knives out (at least until they're strong enough to unlock it, by which time they'll be old enough to use them safely).

we bought a meat thermometer - let's just say that i've always wanted one, and now i have one (no comment from you, avraham).

avs got a watch (happy almost anniversary!) which he loves and looks great.

and i got this free facial from Yves Saint-Laurent.  This scary fake tanned woman with a very bad smokers voice, who looked about 30, sounded 60, and probably was about 27, approached me and asked me if i'd like to get a free facial from "evesenlorahn".  i had to think a moment before i figured out 1. the faux french accent and 2. the smokers voice distortion.

so i said yes, cause why the hell not?  ok, here's why the hell not.  she led me in to some shitty room that was supposed to look all fancy and spa-like, but you could clearly see that it was thrown together and they never change the towels on the pillow or bed.  great.

she asks me what i have on my face, and i say 'moisturizer'.
her: (faux european accent, shocked) 'nothing else?'
me: 'nope.'
her: 'okay, let me clean that off.'  she takes an alcohol soaked pad and wipes down my face, showing me all the dirt imbedded in the pad.  um, thanks.
her: poking at my skin 'you have very dry skin.'
me: 'yes, that's why i use moisturizer.'  and HELLO! why i never put alcohol on my face?!
her: 'you need a much better one.  which do you use?'
me: 'nivea.'
her: 'oh, you should really switch to our products.  they're much better for you.  this is our exfoliant.'  she picks up a little bottle and shows it to me.  'i use it twice a week.  people always ask me what i use on my skin, because it feels so good.'
i can't stop staring at the flecks of glitter left on her lips.
she squeezes an obscene amount of it on her hands and rubs it on my face, getting it not only on my eyelashes, but in my nose.
her: 'see how it goes from so thick to a liquid on your face?  it's made from sugar.  i use it twice a week in the shower.'
again, i thank her mentally for telling me all about herself.
she rubs and rubs and pokes at my face with her scary long nails, til she decides it's time to remove it with the wipey things again. 
her: 'now feel your face.  feel how smooth it is?'
keep in mind that she can't pronounce half of what she says between her natural accent and trying to sound rich.
i reach up and feel my face, and it feels kind of... gooky.
her: 'now it's time for the mask.'
she takes out a miniscule jar, tells me it's worth $130 because of the special chinese mushrooms in it that grow, get this, in a special place in China!
The mask needs to sit on my face for 15 minutes.  She glances at my shoes, sees their from payless, and amends it to 10.
while we wait, she decides she needs to oil and massage my arms.  she starts abusing me, digging her hands into my bones and ligaments.  there's utter silence in the room.
me: 'how long have you been working here?'
her: 'about 6 months.  before i worked at blah blah blah, but now i work here and i love it, because our products are so great.'
it hits me that her voice is so non-emotional that she sounds like she's reading a poem in 6th grade lit class.
finally, thank god, it's time to take the mask off.  it got so boring that i started trying to get the moisturizer crap off of my arms by wiping it on my shirt to pass the time.
her: 'now we well remove the mask.  look how much dirt and pollution there is.  it literally magnetized it, sucked the dirt out of your face, like a vacuum.'
her: 'do you wear makeup?'
me: 'not every day.
her: 'why not?'
me: ok, i get the fact that she thinks i'm a hideous specimen. 'because i want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  i never want to feel that i need to wear makeup to look normal.'
her: heavy fake laugh 'i wear makeup every day, even when i'm not at work.'
me: still not caring about her.
she moisturizes my face, nasal passage, eyelids, and hair, then instructs me to feel my skin.
my face is so wet that i spend the rest of my day wiping at it.

so next time you're asked if you want a free facial, say NO

she gave me her card and invited me back for a makeover some time.

iska says:

iska: pls daven (pray) for aleksander ben rivkah, my good friends father who had a heart attack. thank you
iska: (hes out of ICU thank G-d)

America's Best and Worst Cities for Crime

here are the top 10 safest Large Metro Areas in the US in 2002 (couldn't find a more recent list):

Nassau-Suffolk, NY
Middlesex-Somerset-Hunterdon, NJ
Ventura, CA
Monmouth-Ocean, NJ
Bergen-Passaic, NJ
Scranton-Wilkes-Barre-Hazleton, PA
Harrisburg-Lebanon-Carlisle, PA
San Jose, CA
Pittsburgh, PA
Orange County, CA

so there are basically 3 states that are safe to live in.  and SCRANTON CAME IN NUMBER 6!  woohoo!!!!

boogie woogie woogie woogie

so family guy is back and great, of course.  the real surprise is that american dad is getting to be good in its own right.  yay to good sunday nights.

pretty

http://www.wallusa.com/set5/24167.jpg

yay diet

thanks to a new diet i've lost 10 pounds.  yay.  as soon as i get cleared to exercise, that number should keep rising.  woohoo to me.

things i'm looking at

for our anniversary:

just a note - i tried to post pictures, but pictures still won't upload.

http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=12&f=7484 the green one
http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=12&f=5195 the quilt, although avs will hate it, so...
http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=11&f=9459 - i LOVE it
http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=23611&PseudoCat=Search&trackingCat=Search we need 3 more sets of our purple fleish dishes
http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=16497&PseudoCat=Search&trackingCat=Search 12 settings, one of each color (hee!) for our milchik dishes
http://www.tableandhome.com/prodeabfi 12 accent plates for the purple fleish dishes (LOVE)
http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=4132&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=454&iMainCat=381 i have some of her other stuff and i ADORE her functional designs
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=8201&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=336&iSubCat=593&iProductID=8201 it makes me think of a beautiful uncluttered home
http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=4758&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=596&iMainCat=380 so pretty!
http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=1536&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=401&iMainCat=374 oh, nigella.  you have to stop with the excellent stuff!
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=ord_cart_shr/602-4182117-7886239?%5Fencoding=UTF8&ASIN=B00026036I&nodeID=&merchantID=A1VC38T7YXB528 for our dining room

and this concludes this episode of dani wanting to buy many many things...

ra

long day of back hurting-ness

good day yesterday with my family

my poor little nephew got hurt and can't stand/walk right now

but he can crawl.  and let everyone know how very much he wants to move and stand right now

i wish there was a drug i could take that would make me feel nothing yet keep me normal enough to do work

Spoiler Alert - Sith Review

I totally meant to take a pen and paper with me into the movie and write down my thoughts…  I apologize for all misspellings of names; I’m not a Star Wars reader, just a viewer.

 Annakin proves himself to be a little boy who never got over losing his mother’s love when she was killed.  He now is so terrified of losing love that he will literally destroy the world to ensure that he feels good about himself.  This correlates perfectly to the fact that as soon as he perceives critique from someone, it’s proof that this person has stopped loving him.  And in Annakin’s childlike stupid head, this marks the person as his enemy.  Following are a couple of examples:

       Padme, the woman he loves.  The woman he risks it all for.  The woman he can not live without.  Padme gets scared when she sees final proof that Annakin has turned to the dark side, and begs him to turn back.  He says that he can’t, obviously, because if he does he might lose her.  She says if he stays he will lose her because she can’t follow him down that path.  He says he wants to run the empire.  Um, OK…  So when he sees Obi Wan standing there, his first instinct is to try to kill the woman he gave everything up for.  He sees Obi Wan’s presence as a betrayal and betrayal means lack of love, and therefore he has no problem trying to destroy her.  It’s literally 5 seconds after he declares tat he gave the world up to save her.  Asshole.

       Obi Wan, his tutor, his master, his brother.  Annikin aligns his fate with Obi Wan, refusing to leave him behind when he’s trapped under a wall, even at the risk of his own death and the death of the chancellor.  He carries Obi Wan out, saving his life.  Obi Wan, in return, blindly adores him (gross).  But the minute that pouty Annakin gets a critique from Obi Wan (to the extent of “you’re not ready to be a Jedi Master yet, but you will be soon”) he starts to doubt him.  When Obi Wan asks him to spy on the Chancellor, all it takes is about a minute of the Chancellor buttering him up before Annakin spills the secret.  Moron.

 Annakin repeats over and over that he will not lose Padme the way he lost his mother.  Which, you see, he doesn’t – in the end, he kills Padme.  So it’s not like his mother at all.  And I think that that is the point.  If Annakin is going to cur disfavor and ‘lose love’, he’s going to make sure that there are no reminders of it.  He will be loved, and that will be the final chapter of that person’s interaction with him.

 I find it amazingly ironic that when Annakin finds out that Padme is dead, and that he killed her, he doesn’t realize 1. that the Dark Side is destructive and 2. that the Emperor is the one who constructed this situation.  Of course, with Annakin’s psychological profile as I understand it, he may have already adopted the Emperor in his mind as his family, and therefore can’t turn against him until given reason to (Jedi, when he has to choose between his natural son, and the man who brought about Padme’s death).  I still expected him to at least say “YOU DID THIS!”

 What I really hate about this is that Darth Vader of my childhood now is much much weaker than I thought.  If you had asked me yesterday how I would react if Darth Vader showed up at my door, I’d tell you that I would pass out or totally pee myself from fright.  Today?  I’d say “Darth Vader!  You are so powerful and so brave!  The Empire owes it freedom to you!”  And then I’d skip away, knowing that I’m safe cause, hey, I just complimented the guy.  Because in Lucas’ quest to make Annakin a complex character, he actually made him simplistic – think ‘me want love, me kill for it’.

 Off of Annakin for a moment – Yoda could sense when each Jedi was attacked/killed.  He could sense the attackers behind him.  Now Avraham makes the point that the force has a lot to do with how open you are and how much you already have pre-judged something (excellent observation).  But I still find it strange that Yoda of all people (can I call him a person?) didn’t sense that the Chancellor was the Sith Lord.  I get that the Chancellor probably had some block-y powers that kept them from sensing him, but come on!  Also weird that the Jedi ‘spidey-sense’ wasn’t there when the Empire’s army turned on them.  One Jedi was shot in the back.  Again, you can make the point that they were involved in what was happening and had assumed the people behind them to be on their side, but that seems a really silly flaw for this class of people to have.  Or were they all just so far behind Yoda in their training?

 I also wonder at Annakin, who needed family so badly, needed love so badly, not looking up his aunt and uncle.  Yes, he’s Darth Vader, and they may not like that, but wouldn’t he in his very strange mind expect to find love and thanks there?  Also, I question the decision to hand over baby Luke to the family that raised Annakin – they’re not so good at it, people!  And why split them up?  It’s not like Annakin knew to look for twins.  Again, he didn’t even know to look for one baby.

 As Avraham quoted on his blog (www.thebronsteins.com), it is the suckage that they’ve now created a construct in which Annakin’s appearance at the end of Jedi was possible not due to his salvation, but instead to the abilities he learned from the Emperor.  Also, if the Emperor is able to come back, who’s to say they’re ever safe?  Just a thought.  Considering that in the new DVD release Annakin’s ghost is back to his young self, it would totally make sense that Annakin was there just to see his children who now adore him (cause he DID have some good in him!  Har har).  Although I still say Luke would have no reason to recognize young Annakin.  But young Annakin’s appearance makes a stronger case for the idea that Annakin never achieved salvation, and that instead everything we saw him do was self-serving because it negates (Annakin’s favorite!) all the evil, and therefore make impossible the very achievement of salvation.  Doesn’t it suck to have an English major watch a movie with you?

 But the final proof of Annakin’s blindness is the fake out when Samuel L. Jackson was killed.  If Annakin had been at all honest with himself, he would have run the Chancellor through right then.  Instead he (and the Dark Side he readily accepted) twisted what he himself saw, and made it all about the Jedis turning against him and his buddy the Chancellor.

 I would have much more interested to see Annakin fall into this some other way.  Or maybe take longer to make the choice.  Or even to see a truly evil side of him emerge before the Chancellor starts in on him.  But instead, he is a weak, malleable man-child who never grows up, never accepts responsibility for his actions, and even in death can be said to have made the choice to be loved over the chance of living.

 I prefer to think that these first three episodes are not really the back story of the first trilogy, but instead a fan fic of sorts.  And one I don’t have to take as gospel truth.