Refael Meir Chaim ben Leah Devora

Meir, who grew up with Avraham, was in a serious accident on Friday.  The news as we've heard it is that his leg was amputated and there is what appears to be an infection spreading to his heart.

Please daven for him and his family - he's our age and is the father of a little girl.

for the last time

i did not get an epidural.  i did not have any medication until many hours after gus was born when orly bought me motrin for the nursing contraction things.  i also do not think i'm better than anyone out there, so can we all agree that i;m not judging you and you won't judge me?   the discussion of why this was any of your business will wait until i'm not spending half my day with my nipples in someone else's mouth.

AVS!

i miss you!

this being away thing sucks.  everyone who says that going to your mother after you have a baby is a mechaya is mamash retarded.

i want to be home with my husband!  this SUCKS!

and my sister's making aliya in 2.5 weeks and i want to cry.  instead, i will take a nap.

peep

i've turned into a milk producing vampire.  poor squish was so thrown off schedule by all the travel (and the people!  they love to touch her!) taht we were up intermitently nursing last night from half an hour after i got into bed until it was light outside.  because i don't have a clock in my room, this is now how we measure time.

i want to bite the people who reach into her carriage without asking.

on friday night, someone we know (who thinks she's much closer with us than she actually is) was around and while i was adjusting gus' blanket, reached into the carriage and tucked the other end under her.  which would be sweet if we were friends, or relatives, or even people who have spoken more than twice by choice.  but we're not.  so it was invasive and rude and BY THE WAY my 4 day old?   not so much immune to whatever crap is on your hands, so back the fuck away, ask before touching, and WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!

and then this same girl on shabbat afternoon, while hanging out near me, overheard me asking a friend if i could bite people who touch gus without asking and she goes "oh, totally!".  consider your neck to be gaping and spurting, then.

of course, none as funny as the moron who leaned over (placing her hand on gus - why would you lean on a 5 day old?) and commented on her 'beautiful tan'.  that's jaundice.  you can get the look yourself - keep whoring yourself  out and you'll get hep B.  or you can use cheap self-tanner and achieve the same result.

so i'm with my parents and family for a little while and avraham is not here and i've cried about that a fwe times already.  i'm also tired and dehydrated, and more inclined to cry because i just gave birth.  so long as we're all aware.  it's funny - i'll start crying, but i'm still calm, and i'm apologizing "please ignore the tears, they have a mind of their own".

i walked outside 10 minutes ago and the sun hurt my eyes.  my baby is so cute, i can't really complain.

awake and loving it

i'm up with squish, who has been nursing on and off all night.  she's so cute, and so good.

watching bbc world news covering the israel/lebanon issue, and i have to say that daniel taub is doing a great job of fending questions.

i'm HUNGRY.

i'd like to point out that my darling daughter (hee) was born at 7 lbs 2 oz, and she was a full 3 weeks early.  one slim day away from being a preemie.  imagine if she'd gone to 40 weeks!  i don't know how i would have done it.

we're in the living room at the moment.  she's wearing a sleep sack over her sleeper, arms thrown up next to her head like she's just ben surprised, and she's SO CUTE!

she's also a little weird - i've been putting a hat on her to keep her warm (for all the birth weight, she's actually very little).  every time i put her in the pram, she scooches down until the hat slips over her eyes, then goes to sleep.  at one point when she didn't have the hat on, avraham reported that her arm was flung over her face, covering her eyes.  just like her uncle hadar.  : )

Gus Face

excuse me for thinking she's cuter than your kids  : )

Gus

24

wide awake.  avraham's sleeping as soundly as one can expect for a man whose wife is up at 4 am on a laptop in the bedroom.

i'm terrible, really.

school ends on sunday, and i've even finished most of my work.  i have 4 film clips, a summary, and 2 multi-part written assignments left, which i should be able to mostly knock off tomorrow.

i can't say that i'm even tired right now.  i've been napping during the day, and it seems to be working out well.

i have nothing of interest to share at this juncture.  thought you should know.

6 mitzvot, 1 aveira

i learned very many years ago that every time you kill a spider you get 6 mitzvot (one for each incident in which a spider worked against the people of Israel, like bringing coals to the burning of the beit hamikdash) and 1 aveira, for the time that a spider saved Dovid hamelech's life (king david, to you non-hebrew ones).

i also learned very many years ago that i'm a descendent of dovid (i was going to say direct descendent, but in thinking about it, what's a non-direct descendent?  either you're from someone's offspring or you're not).

so whenever i have to kill a spider, the aveira bit weighs even more heavily on me beause i feel like i'm repaying an entire species who technically saved my life by killing them.

we have had a spider infestation in our bathroom.  avraham killed them.  but there was this one mega spider in our living room taht avs saw and couldn't reach.  i saw it the other day and was not okay with killing it.  but today, the spider was on the couch, next to some very important things, and some instinct took over me - i grabbed a shoe, and beat that spider down.

i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry.  it's not that i don't appreciate what you did for me, it's that you don't belong in my house.  and seeing as i can't converse with you and ask you to leave and not come back, i had to dispose of you.  please come back as something non-threatening - a puppy!  and i'll adopt you.

31

we got back from sheva brachot last night to find a family of baby spiders hatching out of our bathroom ceiling.

barf

i ran out of the room and riped off all my clothes and found one crawling on my arm.

avs sprayed raid and closed the door, then went back in to check if they were dead.  he assures me that they were.

i kinda want to go home now.

33

i am smack in the middle of being tired and overwhelmed and even a little antsy.  avraham's sleeping on the couch, has been for about 2 hours, which is nice, but i'm all bored and energized and feel the need to do something, although i'm not quite sure what, short of more bad internet games like mah jong and flip words and other such shit that is slowly making me dumber

i do'nt even have th energy to call people back because that involves conversation.  i just want to be able to call people and have them entertain me while i sit silently by.

my fingers on the keyboard are so loud that i woke avraham up.

poor tired baby...

34

there was much driving this weekend, and then a sudden thunderstorm.  which for the first time in a very long time set off a bad headache which i'm still feeling.  hmph.

we got back at 6:30 and i went to sleep while avs went to shul.  i was supposed to get up at 7:30, but apparently i was very tired because i only got up 15 minutes ago, so we're just making dinner now.

we also got a lot accomplished yesterday, so that felt good, but my god am i wiped.

must eat, drink water, and sleep more.