news

the good: i am still alive.  that is very good.

the less good: i am still sick (going to see a doctor soon, a big deal for me cause i generally refuse to go unless i'm dying).  and my sister and 2 nephews have mild ear infections, and my baby nephew...  has bronchitis.

migraine setting in, it's a beautiful day...  maybe tomorrow i'll get out again.  i was actually social yesterday for about 5 hours, went to har menuchot, walked from the tachana merkazit to town for pizza and fro-yo...  started off with coffee on emek for breakfast.  all told, a good day.  and i got to see bayla!  and jj!  and kim!  what fun.

if you do such things, send healthy vibes my way so i can fly back on monday.  and yes, bronk, in a few months i'll look back on this trip and laugh.

hi all

israel's great.  i, unfortunately, am missing most of it.  i am, hopefully, going to see daniel in oliver on tuesday.  yay!  i'll be back in a week and a day or so, and i have a lot i'd like to get done before then.  thanks for the messages..  it's great to here from everyone.  all i've bought so far is a present for a friend...  wish i had money.  : )  i have some entries that i'll add when i can that i've written by hand while i've been here.  anyhow, i'm off.  tata...

ahhhhhhhhhh

ok, do you know what pain is? if not, you may want to jump in here and check out my throat.
israel's cool, i miss some people though... my voice is kinda gone, but it conveniently pops back in when i need to be polite.
i'm hoping that tomorrow morning i can get some sort of a tan. if not, then no tan for dani. : ( and then back to yerushalayim and all kinds of fun things.
in the mean time, i can't type because it feels like my body is about to rip off. actually, it feels like my shoulder is attempting to disengage from my neck. can't say i blame it... off to a big old moroccan dinner (always great for a sore throat, right?)
and mushnicks - i miss you. hi orly! i got your email!!!!! i'll write back soon.......

keeping up

here's my calendar of events, as near as i can tell...

i remember now that i'm leaving in an hour that my sister told me when we were young that if you go the bathroom on an airplane, the toilet can accidentally flush and suction out your internal organs. those were painful flights, let me tell you.

this is it

i'm leaving today. that means the blog will most likely be pretty quiet (if not untouched) until january 5th or so. if you want to be notified when i update, you can put your email address in the mailing list thing-y on the side, and you'll get an email, otherwise... check back in 3-4 weeks.

it really pains me to say that. : (

i'll miss you guys, a lot. i'll be staying at lev, so if you're in israel (and a friend of mine, not a total stranger), come look me up. i'd love to get together. i'm V V sad to be leaving, but pretty excited about going. does that make sense?

have a great chanuka

the minor PS

i filed a complaint with consumer affiars.  i realize this story would make more sense if i were somewhat coherent, but i'm not, and i apologize.  it's been a long day.

i was in and out of NY today, although i got to met a friend for lunch, which was nice.  i have no other thoughts.  mut to sleep.

saga X 2

6:08 i place a call.
6:32 i hang up in frustration while waiting for some supervisor to answer the phone.

my mother says "get names from everyone". i decide to log the calls as well.

6:34 Mark Dubreau. haha! wrong place, he works in the net server group. the what you ask? the i don't know, i tell you. he connects me to the pavilion notebook group
6:37 Andre. how are you dear? let me patch you through to a technician.

(i must add - each of these people made me give them all kinds of information over and over, highly annoying)

6:38 Sylvain, who transferred me to his supervisor,
6:39 Billy Curtis. who said "woah, that area code is in the US. we're in Canada. let me transfer you."
6:41 Jack, who didn't sem to have a last name, not that i understood half of what he said. yay and joyness. Jack takes all myinfo. interspersed with each sentecnce i reiterate "i'd like to talk to a supervisor now". jack says "let me see if i can find my superwizer".
6:47 Jack goes to speak with his supervisor.
6:51 jack tells me that "I'm trying to speak to my supervisor', and that the supervisor will call me back in 10. should have gotten supervisor's name before i terminated the call. dammit.

7:01 i place another call.
7:03 Veani. she has no last name, she tells me. I guess HP is now outsourcing to countries so poor they can't afford two names? (not funny, i know. sorry) I ask for her supervisor's name. she doesn't know. she tells me ive reached compaq, and she must now transfer me to pavilion. bbye!
7:06 transferring call.
7:10 Ashaf (Ashraf?) finally, someone smart with a sense of humor. i ask him for his name. he tells me. asks me for mine. we had a moment! we laughed. ok, he takes my info, tells me they can't help.
7:16 I'm getting transferred to a supervisor.
7:27 Ashraf comes back to check on me and tell me to hang in there.
7:40 I get to Eric Hendley. sounds suspiciously like the eric of yesternight. evil!!

stone-walled again.

what a day

first, and most important - my brother got into columbia!!!!!!!!!!

now he needs a place to live. does anyone know of a place in the UWS, anywhere from 70th, i guess, til 115th, i guess. (making these numbers up, haven't really asked him, but they sound good to me)? he's a great guy, v cool, easy to get along with. etc.

2nd order of business. the pissants @ HP have succeeded in really pissing me off. enough to a) make me cry and b) make me jump up and down in frustration.

i sent my laptop in 2 months ago to have them fix the pin for the AC adapter. you know, the socket where the plug goes in to juice your machine. it was broken, and they fixed it and sent it back. happy dani. then last week it went bollocks on me again, and i sent it to them. couldn't back up the data cause i couldn't access the data cause THE BLOODY MACHINE HAD NO POWER LEFT TO IT. brilliant. anyhow, i called, spoke to the Lady who took down my info, etc. sent in the machine, got it back today.

they decided that to fix a very external piece of hardware, they needed to re-image my hard drive. to those of you who don't know what that means, they wiped it, and re-installed XP. why did they do this? presumably to test the machine (bloody wankers). the note i got with my comp said that they'd repaired/upgraded my BIOS and modem. um. thanks. i could have updated the BIOS myself, and the modem, well, i don't use it. they've got this brilliant new invention called a wireless network card. so the question becomes - what did they do?

let's see. i originally paid them $285 to have them replace my motherboard, which they did a pretty shoddy job of, seeing as within 2 months it was busted again. and the piece that was broken, where it melted in the back? still melted. the adapter that gets so hot to the touch i've red marks on my arms and thighs for a few hours after? sent back the same bloody one. the fan that overheats and doesn't cool off the processor? they didn't even check it.

and to run all these diagnostics? the stupid pervs WIPED my hard drive.

so i call HP. i get another lady, this time in india, i think. first i'm told that there's nothing they can do. then i ask to speak to a supervisor, hit the voice mail wall, and hang up to try again.

call back. get some girl who has no clue what i'm talking about, at least she speaks english... she connects me to somewhere... 10 minutes of dead air-ing it later, i hang up and try again.

round 3: i get some kid who tells me there's nothing they can do. i ask to speak to his supervisor. now i'm on the phone with eric. hi eric! eric can't help me, because i was supposed to back up the data. eric has a bad haabit of talking like i'm an idiot. i tell eric i couldn't back up the data, and i told this to the nice Lady who i filed the report with originally. eric tells me it's standard procedure to wipe the hard drive. poppy cock. i sent in my laptop before, they didn't do it then. i tell eric that my entire portfolio for my writing degree has now been cleaned off of my computer by his company and i'm screwed, and i need him to explain to me why they did that. eric says "it's standard procedure", then proceeded to really screw HP:

apparently this has been a problem, and they have a new script where they're supposed to ask you "if your hard drive has to be re-imaged, do you want us to do it?" i have the right to refuse that. Lady never asked me that. apparently i also didn't have to send in my hard drive, as i was v snottily informed. Lady didn't tell me that either. then eric said the stupid thing. he said "it happened to me too once,..." and started telling me his horror story. eric - i care not. but to back track for a moment - if i didn't need to send in my hard drive, then they obviously didn't need to do anything to my hard drive to fix the pin. even if they needed to check the processor and such, they didn't need to touch my hard drive.

i have calls into numerous companied who specialize in hard drive restoration. so far, best i can tell, it will cost between $300 and $1500 to get it done. guess who's paying that bill? (hint: not me.)

squish

in the process of packing, and realizing that this will be the first time sincei was about 8 that i will be wearing pants in yerushalayim. how very weird. also realizing that when an entire family is going (and each of us cantake 2 suitcases) the entire community does its bst to fill our suitcases with toys, medications, books, clothes, and other such things for friends and family they have stationed in israel. the best is the packages that have been arriving every day for two weeks at our house - video tapes, a hair iron, a can of spray (?), cereal... people are insane.

and i'm realizing that one suitcase may not suffice to hold clothes for 2.5 weekss, seeing as i can't do laundry and i have 3 shabbatot to get through, including 2 bar mitzvas, and 2 nights to celebrate grandma's 80th birthday. i need a lot of stuff! off to see how small i can squish things...

countdown

today is december 14th. so let's make a little map of the next month of my life:

S M T W T F S
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
i fly on the 17th at midnght

21 22 23 24 25 26 27
then i'm in israel this whole week

28 29 30 31 1 2 3
and this whole week, too.

4 5 6 7 8 9 10
and i fly back on the 5th. i do a lot of laundry, pack. and move back to NY on sunday, the 11th. sounds about right?

23 days til i'm back in the states, 28 til i'm in NY. ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate waiting

i dreamt of saba

i dreamed of my grandfather just now.  we were all in the living room, planning for our trip to israel, and when i looked up, he was stretched out on the couch, propped up against the side of it, wearing his glasses, and reading the paper.  he smiled at me as i looked at him, and i ran over to talk to him, because i needed to.  it'd been too long.  i ran to him, and he smiled and called me boobah, and told me to talk to him, and i knelt next to him, and hugged him, and put my face on his stomach and started to cry.  and he rubbed my head and said "i know it's been so hard.  i know how tired you are.  let it out.  you're ok, you're fine."

i woke up.  i was so happy.  then my face crumpled and i realized i wanted to talk to him, i wanted to fall back asleep.  i miss him so much.  i wasn't ready to wake up, i wasn't ready to let go.  i haven't dreamt of him in so long, and i don't know when i will again.  but i know he's with me, and he loves me, and he's proud of me, and ...  God that counts for a lot.

pre-packing

i am totally exhausted.  i had an amazing weekend, and now the reality of israel looms.  i woke up to the news that saddam has been captured, which makes me believe that bush will be re-elected.  no comment on that at the moment.  i'm nervous to go to israel.  it's been a long time since i was there, and now i'm going with my entire family.  it's weird.  i don't want to follow that train of thought...

so i'll be leaving weds night, and i'll be there for 2.5 weeks, which means i'm moving to NY in about 4 weeks from today.  4 weeks.  it sounds so short, but it's a very long time to go without seeing people.  a person.  someone.

green and blue

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

posting...

so, they posted a day late. but still, they posted.

i was thinking about stuff last night (as i tend to do) and i realized (once again) that i'm disgustingly lucky to have such awesome friends. i would list them here, but some of you might get embarassed if i list you, or if i don't list you because i think you'll be embarassed you may think i forgot about you and get all upset with me. so - hey guys (and girls!), i love you and i think you are amazing and brilliant and each so unique and interesting. and if i were a different kind of person who did such things, i would learn from you in some way - but i'm not! so i'll continue to be loud and obnoxious and neurotic and scandalous (ha-ha nomers!). i love that word. sssssscandalous!

ok, off to make more lasagna. i wonder - some couples have a song, and when they hear it they think of each other. what if you have a food? do you have to think of each other when you eat it? when you say the word? when you see marinara sauce in the grocery store? and who mandated rules about when couples have to think about each other? can't it just be always?

life in scranton

phone rings.
it's my sister.
i answer it.
she says "why are you awake?"
i say "because you called."

to the tune of winter wonderland

this is what i was singing yesterday:
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
Lacy things -- the wife is missin', Didn't ask -- her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store -- there's a teddy, Little straps -- like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna, We can dress -- like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin', Didn't ask... permission, Wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

: (

as you may have noticed, my blogging is slacking off this week. my computer has once again died, and is being sent to HP for fixing in the morning.  hopefully it'll be back b4 i leave to israel, cause taht would make me happy.

what are we doing to our kids?

it has been contended that the cat in the hat is the scariest movie ever made for kids, but i think i've found somehting scarier.

some brilliant person is now releasing toy story 2 - on ice. picture two buzz lightyears. on skates. spinning each other. doing splits. woody and buzz dancing with linked arms.

i may have nightmares.

dearth

so, something's up with blog-city, cause i emailed in two posts earlier today which never went up.  blergh.  i'm not going to try to recap right now, but basically, my family is weird and very very funny.  and i like NY.  and not sleeping.  and whipped cream, and movies, and (side point) dame maggie smith, who you can catch in all her hotness is the neil simon movie, murder by death.

help

i'm in this frustrating bubble of not working and not being in school right now, for the next fwe weeks, and each day starts running into the next.  not doing anything all the time is the fastest way to get grumpy, i think.  i'm actually looking forward to being in scranton tomorrow because i'll have something to do all day.  oy.  but time will start flying again soon.  today just dragged on and on, and my inertia-inspired laziness doesn't help matters.

tomorrow's tuesday.  what have you accomplished this week?  between tomorrow and friday, i plan on finishing with stuff for college, getting my house ready for guests, helping my sister get ready for a big shabbat, starting to organize myself for the trip to israel, and start to organize my stuff and thoughts for the move back to NY upon my return from the Holy land.

wow.  it's all really happening so fast, but within the minute to minute stuff, it can seem to take forever.  and my mouth is bleeding.  again.  ra, ok, best way to fix that is probably to drink hawaiin punch or some such...

fwegfbvcisb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's kinda crazy how 4 minutes on the phone with someone can last an eternity and an afternoon with someone else can feel like 4 minutes.  i believe i spent a full 18 hours with a friend, but it felt like just a few hours.  i'm in this happy/tired/content to not be fully awake yet stage.  and listening to sir mixalot.  always a great way to start the day.  *grin*

thoughts (ppl suck)

once, in a fit of "i don't know what else to do with my rage" i decided to write an article for hamevaser (stop laughing) about sinat chinam and how to deal with it.  i ultimately decided that to do that would be immature and stir up all kinds of all trouble, so i let it slide.  yes, this is my main coping mechanism...  ignore something i don't like long enough, and it will go away, assuming there's nothing i can do to change it.

i'm re-thinking all of that now.  boo on lashon hara.

thanks for coming out...

and i remember wanting to learn to kick-box.  that too.

weekend update

hello.  in NY, yet again, and i just got back from the YCDS play.  it was pretty good.  well, i didn't follow the story so well, but the acting was good, the set was unreal...  all the usuals from a YCDS play.  and, for a change, the cake was awesome.  : )  it's so nice to comeback and see old frineds.  : )

i have to run off and have lasagna and other such fun things.  like hot chocolate.  oh, did i mention that i like the doctor's hat?  thinking of keeping it.  thinking he won't let me.  "oh, so i'm being referred to as 'the doctor' on the world wide web".  <chuckling to self>

 

ah, so good to be here.

bouncing and zinging

what is up with nervous energy?  i find that i can not sit without jiggling some part of my body, a foot, my leg, my hand...   it'smaking me crazy, but i can't stop.  similarly, i managed to not bite my nails for like 3 months

and here i am doing it again.

geez, you'd think i was 7 years old.  find something, please, that will keep me occupied until i can leave.

i'm doomed

so,jessica is totally evil, and sent me a link to this love calculator page.

i ran it, and got a 96% chance.  then, on a hunch, i ran it with my name mispelled (daniella), and i got a 29%.  which only goes to prove that all of you out there who mispell and mispronounce other ppl's names, you're screwing with mazalot.   please stop. 

PSA
i will say this only once: the name is daniela, it's pronounced don-nee-el-la, with a very light 'l'.  ie, hebrew.  not dan-yel-a.  or danielle. or danny, donny, donna, bonnie...  none of the above.  thank you for your time.

challah recipe

my rebbetzin was gracious enough to give me her challah recipe, which is how i've spent my day.

if you have a large group of hungry people who like the taste of good old lechem mishna, here's a great way to make more than enough for them:

take 5 cups of lukewarm water, about the temperature at which you'd bathe a baby.
dissolve a scant 1/3 c. of yeast, or 9 tblspns.  a scant measurement is when you fill it to the rim, not all the way.  just enough so you can still see the rim.  stir the yeast to get rid of clumps, then let it sit for 15 minutes.

5 lbs. of flour follow.  this is a full bag of flour.  Rebbetzin Fine prefers to use bread flour, i used regular flour, and then whole wheat (i'll explain that in a bit).

put 2/3 of the bag of flour into your mixing bowl.

add:
scant 1/4 c. coarse/kosher salt (i used sea salt for lack of a good alternative)
1 3/4 c. sugar
1 1/4 c oil (add most of the oil, leave behind enough to grease the dough later)
7 eggs

put yeast (and water) in with it.  if you have a mixer, let it run on medium for 7 or 8 minutes.  if you're like me, prepare to work out your arms, and mix it thoroughly.  it was totally fun.

then add the rest of the flour from the bag, and about 2 more cups of flour to get the right consistency (this is where the 1.5 c of whole wheat came in)

mix for another 8 minutes with a machine, or until it feels right (somewhat sticky, elasticy, but you can get your hands out without too much pain)

for the mixer using crew: grease rising bowl (ie, the bowl you use to let the dough rise), dump in the dough, turn once to get it covered in oil
for the non-mixer using crew: pour a bit of oil, spread it over the dough.  pick up the dough and flumf it over (for lack of a better word) and cover that side also.  when i say cover, i mean thinly coat, by the way.

cover with a towel, or if you live s/w like scranton where it's really dry today, loosely cover it with a plastic food bag, then towels.

let it rise til it doubles.  then (my favorite part) punch it down, take challah, and let ir rise again.

then you get to shape it.  have fun with that.

let it sit for 1/2 hour, 40 minutes - pre-heat the oven to 400.

mix an egg and 1/3 teaspon sugar, paint challah.

bake @ 400 for 10 minutes, then lower it to 350 for 25.  check it after 18 minutes to see where it's holding.  (if you have 2 racks in, switch them about 7 minutes after you lower the heat so they get evenly done)

ode to jess

so this one time there was this guy, and he was walking down the street when he decided that he really need to go buy cigarettes.  marlboro lights, to be precise, although if they were out he'd settle for camels.  he went into the store and asked the guy if he could buy them and the guy asked for ID and the guy said he didnt' have it, he left it at work, and he didn't feel like walking the whole way back to work then back to the store then back to work just to get cigarettes, so he dyed his hair red and went to anne taylor.  then he bought a bunch of clothes, and applied to stern under an assumed name, because he could, and when they asked his name, he said "LAMPPOST!"

i love you (even though you tell lamppost sotries better than i do)

by way of charlotte

geek=me

the nice thing about deadAim (yes, trillian,too) is that you can log your IMs.  this is highly convenient for those of us who need to go back and re-read something, re-experience it.  it's almost like having a personal recorded history to study.  ok, that's a little neurotic, even for me, but the fact is that in storing conversations and then using them for reference, some wonderful things can happen at, say, 2 am.

i'm very tired and about to try making challah for the first time in years, because someone mentioned that i'd probably be good at it...  and it spiraled from there.  wish me luck!

zen cocoa

it has been a hell of a long day.  i went to babysit for my sister's sons, who i really adore, but frankly watching them from about 12:30 til about 5:30 is notmy idea of fun.  especially when the baby is hungry and i am unable to nurse him.  ra.  cute cute, love him so much, but it comes back to the same issue - i have a tough time understanding how ppl can watch other ppl's kids.  i just don't kno their schedules, what they like, what they're allowed to do, even what benny's different cries mean.  i can't tell when he's hungry vs. tired vs. wet.  and koby is great, but he has a lot more energy than i'm used to dealing with.  usually i'm the one wearing out the ppl around me.

so i think i will retire to the kitchen and look for some form of liquid chocolate to pour down my throat, preferably heated.  so tired, so hungry, sooooooooooooooo bored.  mm, i sound like i'm in a crappy mood.  i'm not, i swear, just worn out.  i'll be all peppy again in a bit.

If you want to destroy my sweater
Pull this thread as I walk away

if you think about it, these are rather profound lyrics.

also if you think about it, i shouldn't be awake at 5 am eating cold lasagna, although i do have to admit, it's delicious.  maybe that will be my new mandated test of whether or not food is really good - how much i enjoy it straight from the fridge at ungodly hours such as this one.

although i also have to admit that perhaps 5 am is not the best time to be listening to the sweater song as loud as i currently am.  i wish my music listening had a purpose.  but who wants to read critique on a song that came out while i was in braces?  or even a decently written article?  if anyone starts a music magazine full of musings about music, and not current up-to-date 'here's the latest briteny snogging christina's lungs as the mousketters dance around them in pink leotards with pictures of justin timberlake stapled to their butts video' crap - i'm working for you.  and by working i mean writing articles and giving them to you to publish, regardless of pay, salary, benefits, or ant other form of compensation.

perhaps the time has come to rest my head upon my pillow and see where i can drift off to.

ima weighs in

my mother writes to tell me that my vision of scranton is outdated, seeing as i moved out 10 years ago:

 

Dani - I tried twice to answer you on your page, but when I went to
correct a spelling error, it all disappeared.

Your picture of Scranton's Orthodox community, although well-written,
is inaccurate. There is active and positive kiruv going on, on many
levels, and it is a way of life. Your opening statement is not correct.

First of all, there is open learning - chavrutah style  - for men and
women on separate nights at Beth Shalom, an Orthodox shul which
everyone in the community feels comfortable to. Each pair ( or
sometimes, threesome) decides on its own topic of study and book(s).
Often, friendships grow out of these chavrutahs of people who are
holding at very different places in their observance - some of them
close friendships.  Then, there are classes given by Rabbi Saks and
Vivi Brodtsky in Clarks Summit. Rabbi Saks has been doing outreach to
teens and their parents for years, and has met with such success, that
people who were totally alienated now feeling close both to yiddishkeit
and to the local community. AND, some of them spend Shabbos or yomtov
in town once in a while.

Rabbi Fine's class on Wednesday morning which draws women from
throughout the community - again, no pressure, no judging, all are
welcome. He used to give a once-a-week lunch class at the JCC that drew
people from the entire community, too. That ended with the advent of
other things and the loss of rooms in the JCC to their early childhoood
center.

There happen to also be free tutoring classes for all kids who need it
for the Day School - whether you are from the Russian Jewish community,
or one of the few from less observant families, or a child of
one-parent families who have no one to learn or study with. This is not
strictly limudei kodesh - just free help, which again, nurtures
friendship and good feelings.

Then there's the new Chabad of the Abingtons which not only brings the
ENTIRE community together for huge Chanukah/Purim/Lag Ba'Omer
celebrations, but has built an incredible center with a library, game
space, meeting room, etc. Some of the volunteers  - not just the
participants -  are from the Reform and Conservative communities, as
are both the children and adults who take advantage of the classes,
lectures and programs (many of which are fun-related, like arts and
crafts, challah baking). There is no judging, and a wonderful sense of
community exists. The entire community - and I mean not just
Or/Cons/Reform, but also unaffiliated - are invited to and turn out to
every bris and upschern and other sinmcha that the Rappaports have.

Teachers from our Day school and UHI (who live in our community )
invite families to their for Shabbat alll the time. One of the rebbeim
who gives private lessons has for years taught Jewish kids who attend
public high school who then stay connected b/c of the kiruv factor long
after they graduate. And, sometimes, they have chosen to live more
observant Jewish lives as adults b/c of this.

There are also functions for families, for youth and specifically for
Israelis in the entire region ( Scranton, Wilkes-Barre and  the
Poconos) which are run by Rabbi Salkow (of the Community Kollel). These
functions accept people exactly at the level they are and seek to form
personal relationships so Jewish adults and kids can simply be friendly
with other Jewish adults and kids. And, surprise! - the group includes
inter-married families. Talk about kiruv!

The Orthodox community also reaches out in subtle ways: The residents
of the Jewish Home get more visits and caring from the Bais Yakov girls
than from any other group of people in town.  If you polled the entire
Board of the Jewish Federation - most of whom are not "frum" - and
asked which institution in town they respect most, believe it or not,
the answer would be "Bais Yakov". That may not be true kiruv, but it's
a subtle force for yiddishkeit. The same is true when yeshiva boys are
always available to help with funerals and burials (which at your stage
of life you cannot appreciate yet) - believe me, people recognize that
they practice what they learn - and it's also a subtle form of kiruv.
Same for the chevrah kaddisha which makes no distinction on which
congregation the deceased is from, but it's the Orthodox who do the
taharas.

There is also a lot of person-to-person kiruv which you are not aware
of since you haven't really lived here as a participating member of the
community, both one-on-one and families, and informal social
gatherings.

Are there people who are judgemental? Yes. That is true in all
congregations and all communities. Are there issues which arise which
people differ on/ Decidedly, yes. But the community as a whole is far
more open and accepting than you know.
Your written piece is based on the impressions gained during your
younger years, and, as in all things (not just the subject of kiruv),
the impressions from our youth are not necessarily reflective of the
whole or of the now.

I have a question to all those discussing kiruv: What do you each
personally do to be makarev?

bent blue

doing my duty as a scranton girl.  there's this band here i like, called bent blue.  you can check out their stuff here, they have 3 tracks up.  they give a great show, they have a great sound, and they're the nicest, friendliest people.   listening to i'd give anything right now.  it's like matchbox 20, but sweeter, more melodic, and better at tugging at your heart.

stupid ideas

somehow women got the idea from somewhere that all men care about is a hot girl and having sex all the time.  and as much as we may see proof to the contrary, we always come back to this idea.  it's crazy what we do to ourselves because of it.

first of all, i like hot men.  i think they're pretty, and i enjoy looking at them.  that does not mean i want to pursue anything beyond looking for a moment.  i also enjoy looking at beautiful women, and i don't want to date them, either.  as much as there may be a certain look that i find most appealing, the guys i date (and then care about and then find amazingly attractive and - dare i say it?  sexy) don't always look like that.  so why can't i take my own experience and apply it outward, and assume that other people (read: men) can appreciate someone on a purely esthetic level, yet still be more attracted to, say, me?

second, i know that sex or fooling around is definitely not the ikar in the relationships i model and pursue.  but i can't stop thinking that that's what guys want, even when i know that the guy i'm with wants that and so much more.

well, here's a fun little article to play with my conceptions:
HOLDING hands and cuddling are rated more highly than sex by the average American guy, a new survey claimed today.

and just so you all know, i made lasagna (for the first time) today, and it smells awesome.  yay dani!