i dreamed of my grandfather just now. we were all in the living room, planning for our trip to israel, and when i looked up, he was stretched out on the couch, propped up against the side of it, wearing his glasses, and reading the paper. he smiled at me as i looked at him, and i ran over to talk to him, because i needed to. it'd been too long. i ran to him, and he smiled and called me boobah, and told me to talk to him, and i knelt next to him, and hugged him, and put my face on his stomach and started to cry. and he rubbed my head and said "i know it's been so hard. i know how tired you are. let it out. you're ok, you're fine."
i woke up. i was so happy. then my face crumpled and i realized i wanted to talk to him, i wanted to fall back asleep. i miss him so much. i wasn't ready to wake up, i wasn't ready to let go. i haven't dreamt of him in so long, and i don't know when i will again. but i know he's with me, and he loves me, and he's proud of me, and ... God that counts for a lot.
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