ode to jess

so this one time there was this guy, and he was walking down the street when he decided that he really need to go buy cigarettes.  marlboro lights, to be precise, although if they were out he'd settle for camels.  he went into the store and asked the guy if he could buy them and the guy asked for ID and the guy said he didnt' have it, he left it at work, and he didn't feel like walking the whole way back to work then back to the store then back to work just to get cigarettes, so he dyed his hair red and went to anne taylor.  then he bought a bunch of clothes, and applied to stern under an assumed name, because he could, and when they asked his name, he said "LAMPPOST!"

i love you (even though you tell lamppost sotries better than i do)