Wednesday, August 27, 2003

red sneakers

i bought red sneakers to day. happy happy happy. can you believe the happiness here?

a little girl asked me yesterday what the thing on my facee is, and another girl asked me today, andi realized that my whoe life has been haunted by that questions, and if i could have documented my responses and feelings about it over the years, i'd have an awesome book. oh, well. : )

raffi, raffi, i've missed you so much, and i didn't even know how much 'til you came back, and now i'm so happy to be talking to you and i don't want you to go away ever again. boo on the atalantic ocean.

i love target. it's fantastic.

my birthday is soon (sept. 15) and i'm terrified that everyone's going to forget and i'll be sad and alone and forgotten. i don't usually get forgotten, so it'd be v hard to take. silly ego. but it's true. achilles heel - my fear of my friends forgetting about me.

i decided i want to go on a diet and then be a hard core punk for a few weeks. don't ask. anyone want to start a punk band with me?

coffee - i should never have it! you should see how fast i just typed these sad thoughts out. almost as fast as i thought them.

Monday, August 25, 2003

beyond

i am beyond exhausted, which i never knew could happen, but apparently - here i am. the joy of working at a school uniform store when school starts for various schools - today, tomorrow, all of next week. i love how people wait til the last moment to come get things, and are rude and surprised when we're out of them. or that they'll expect that we can embroider something for them within the next few hours. hi, thriving business, people! more than one school to please! i just can't grasp what makes people walk into a store, mess it up, be rude to the people trying to help them (who are very nice, might i add), drop clothes on the floor - even fling them on the floor in fits of '"i'm a spoiled little prat".

it's been a long week

MidValley, Valley View, and the Scranton School District all start in the next two days, i think Riverside does as well. Scranton School District includes 18 different schools. i've had customers lie to me, lie about me, call me at all hours expecting i should know who they are, when they ordered clothes, what they ordered, what they owe, and how much they would owe if they cancelled some things and replaced them with others. realistic expectations from a 3 minute conversation.

what i don't get is when did people start expecting to be babied by everyone? why do people need my hep in determining whether or not their child's gut is busting out of the pants s/he is wearing? why do they need me to tell them if the shirt the kid is trying is too small? i don't mean to say that i'm unwilling to work, just that at a certain point you have to wonder about their ability to raise a child if they are so lacking in basic common sense. oh, and when i tell you that your school doesn't allow something that a different school does - DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON ME! i am not lying to you to make my day. in fact, it would be fine with me if you buy it, wear it to school, and get detention for breaking the uniform. go right ahead, by all means! next time, don't fucking ask if you don't want to know.

this may be ssurprising to those of you i have spoken to recently, because i've been telling everyone how much i love my job. well, i do. and part of the fun is bitching about the customers. and part of the fun is dealing with them, making it through the day without letting them know what you think of them. it's a game - how much time can i spend on the floor without losing my mind? how many hours can i spend in the embroidery room before i need to collapse because i've lost all feeling below my knees? how much am i going to drink on wednesday night when we go out to celebrate the end of the busy season? ok, not a lot, but i just wanted to let you know that i am going out with a bunch of my friends. hey look, i have friends here now! they're about 20-30 years older than me, but that's never stoped me before. : )

ok, now that that's all off my chest, i feel much better and maybe i'll get some sleep tonight.

Monday, August 18, 2003

-less

no more music at work, thank you jacques. as if it wasn't tedious enough beforehand. lovely. anyone want to buy me an ipod?

i have to wonder about parents who nitpick and nag their kids to death. *WARNING*: this is going ot be a bit of a whine session here, sorry - i'm feeling mopey.

i think i'm a pretty good kid, as kids go. i'm messy, i'm moody, i help out, i do dishes, i do laundry, i cook, i work all day, i babysit my niece and nephews, i've never done crack or shown up at my house drunk, been pregnant, gone to jail, been in a (physical) fight...

so why did i end up on my couch in tears just 15 minutes ago? i'm frustrated. it kills me that my parents seem to see me as a total fuck-up, no matter what the issue is or how minor it may be. half the time when i ask for something i get the impression that i'm inconveniencing them beeyond belief, so i try not to ask for too much, and then they get annoyed when i need help and didn't tell them. or i'll do somehting that will upset them (like let a friend crash for a night in my room so she can see her fiance without asking permission for her body to occupy a bed), and when i apologize, i'm not contrite enough. so i have to apologize for that as well. once to each parent, of course. or is it twice?

needing to use the car is equivalent to starting a coup - or so you'd think from all the upheaval it can cause. when i asked if we could look into buying me a clunker just to get to work and back home, the initial response was that i had not yet proven myself as my brother had by finishing college and holding down one job for 3 years.

i'm feeling like they shouldn't have had me. no, i'm not saying i want my existence to end (G-d forbid!). just that their load would be that much lighter wihout me. and i just want to know - am i really such a bad kid?

*END WHINE TRANSMISSION*

commence blasting music (must stave off a pity party at all costs)

Sunday, August 17, 2003

today

major boondock withdrawal issues going on.

listening to dispatch, carry you, on repeat. their song the general is also v good - i don't know the rest of their stuff at all. if you're looking to DL stuff, here's a short list of recommendations:
rufus wainwright, hallelujah - this is that song from shrek everyone loved, and nobody realized was about Tanach (the Old Testament)
a sorta fairytale, tori amos - i'm sure you've seen the video, where the arm and the leg have that whole relationship. should be disturbing, but is somehow beautiful.
brick, ben folds - somehow their biggest hit, though by far not their best song. more on that later.
don't let me get me, pink - thank you, ezra. i still love to dance around to this song
family portrait, pink - yeah, well... let's not get into it.
bring me to life, evansence - i (unfortunately) saw the bad movie that this fantastic song was featured in, and managed to miss the song. asher introduced me to it (and that is why we all love him). i'm trying not to gush over any of the songs, here, btw.
song for the dumped 2, ben folds 5 - again, a good song. very very good. not their greatest (that will be presented to you shortly)
suite judy blue eyes, CSNY - unbelievably good, i can't emphasize that enough.

and if you want to listen to phenomenal music for the next few hours ( on repeat), i'm in a ben folds mood and i'll say to find still fighting it, zak and sara, and eddie walker. oh, and annie waits.

that's me for today! mazal tov eddie and orly, i'm exhausted (lotsa work), and must to nap.