Thursday, June 30, 2005

why would you bother?

i don't know if this is general knowledge, but when people post things to blogs, the person who runs the blog can see the IP from which each post was made.  Which means that when someone posts to the blog board pretending to me, not only is it silly but i know who did it.  so, keeping this as friendly as possible seeing as i barely slept last night, let's review the rules for using this blog:

1. don't troll
2. don't post comments under someone else's name
3. if you post comments under someone else's name in the future, i will replace the post with your IP address

i'm going to delete the offending post from the blog board and call this settled for now.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

anyone else here ever work at JCC camp?

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish
You're never alone when you say you're a Jew
So when you're not home
And you're somewhere kind of 'newish'
The odds are--don't look far--
'Cause they're Jewish, too.

Some Jews live in tents and some live in pagodas
And some Jews pay rent 'cause the city's not free
Some Jews live on farms in the hills of Minnesota
And some Jews wear no shoes and sleep by the sea.

Amsterdam, Disneyland, Tel-Aviv---
Oh, they're miles apart
But when we light the candles on Sabbath eve
We share in the prayer in each one of our hearts

And some Jews wear hats
And some Jews wear sombreros
And some wear k'fiahs to keep out the sun
Some Jews live on rice, and some live on potatoes
Or waffles, felafels, or hamburger buns.

Amsterdam, Disneyland, Tel-Aviv---
Oh, they're miles apart
But when we light the candles on Sabbath eve
We share in the prayer in each one of our hearts.

Wherever you go there's always someone Jewish
You're never alone when you say you're a Jew
So when you're not home
And you're somewhere kind of 'newish'
The odds are--don't look far--
'Cause they're Jewish, too.
The odds are--don't look far---
They're Jews just like you.

not to be beaten by the following brilliant work:
HaMotzi LeHem Min HaAretz, we give thanks to God for bread.  Our voices join in song together as our daily prayer is said: Baruh Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech Haolam, HaMotzi Lehem Min HaAretz, Amen!

you need to hear it sung to appreciate the beauty of it...

mr. wendal

speaking of songs, i'm not sure that as a kid i fully realized the meaning of arrested development's mr. wendal.  i mean, i got that it was about homeless people, and their worth as human, but the song resonates more now as i look back.

Bobby Darin in my head

Somewhere beyond the sea
      Somewhere waitin’ for me
      My lover stands on golden sands
      And watches the ships that go sailin’.
 
      Somewhere beyond the sea
      She's there watchin’ for me
      If I could fly like birds on high
      Then straight to her arms I’d go sailin’.
    
      It's far beyond the stars
      It's near beyond the moon
      I know beyond a doubt
      My heart will lead me there soon.
 
      We'll meet beyond the shore
      We'll kiss just as before
      Happy we'll be beyond the sea
      And never again I'll go sailin'.
 
      I know beyond a doubt
      My heart will lead me there soon
      We'll meet … I know we'll meet … beyond the shore
      We'll kiss just as before.
 
      Happy we'll be beyond the sea
      And never again I'll go sailin'.
 
      No more sailin' …
      So long sailin' …
      Bye, bye sailin'...
      Move on out, captain …
      So long, ensign …

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

about damn time

War of the Worlds / Tom Cruise Boycott

*sigh*

law and order svu is too good.  every so often i need to stop watching it because it's so overwhelming.

i seem to have a thing for darkness -
Veronica Mars
CSI
CSI Miami
Without a Trace
Law and Order SVU
LaO Trial by Jury

i was into Rescue Me for a while but now that we no longer have FX it's hard to catxh up on - TWoP's recaps are too confusing when you haven't seen the ep (i.e. for familiarity with the characters).

used to be into Nip/Tuck, but it got to be too weird and too gross.

Although i can also spend many a happy hour watching golden girls, who's the boss, yes dear, king of queens...

today i watched hunter, which i dimly recall from my childhood. good stuff.

and we catch jeopardy and wheel of forture every so often to prove just how smart we are, although nothing is as good as watching win ben stein 's money to realize how little we know.

Friday, June 24, 2005

i enjoy being a girl

there's one thing i hate above all others as regards being a Jewish woman - we're not really taught what is Halacha versus what is Chumra.

i remmeber as a kid i was at my aunt's house and she was eating tuna fish and egg salad.  i suggested that she compliment it with cottage cheese.  she looked at m in horror and said "you can't eat milk with fish!"

i was so embarrassed.  i had no idea that i'd been over this my whole life, that my parents didn't know!

i did my daughterly duty and told my mother.  she laughed for a second, then told me that it's a chassidishe chumra.

this has stuck with me for years.  the certainty in my aunt's voice as she declared what she thought was Halacha.  the dread in my mind.

years later this was mirrored for me in a much sadder way.  a relative of mine had been raised not talking to boys, and decided that she wanted to start hanging out with them.  apparently her mother had taught her that talking to them was as much of a Halachic problem as touching around with them.  so guess what?  within days of talking to them, she was fooling around as well.  i called her and tried to explain that she could befriedn guys and still maintain negiah laws, but the point was lost on her.

i worry about having kids, about raising daughters.  i'm scared to undereducate them and leave them vulnerable to a world that would rather saddle them with chumra than deal with the ramifications of a simple Halachic life.  i'm scared to overeducate and have them stand out from the crowd, mocked and ridiculed by others for their knowledge.

please tell me that there's another choice?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

ra

some fool who claims that he's frum but gives a bad name to frum communities everywhere just accused me of being amoral because i called him on the fact that he keeps posting from the same IP address under different names.

avraham is thrilled to be married to an amoral woman.

it's interesting to me that people can be so nasty about everyone else, yet when someone else calls them on something, they fall apart.

also im not sure what it means that someone would talk about the halachic ramifactions of women being on display, but have no problem being on the internet.

if i wanted to stay closeted (and i'm not knocking that) i would go all the way, much like my [extended] family does.  no computer, no internet, no secular education after high school, no movies, no pop culture.  but i would also be sure to always show that i am knowledgable about the Jewish world, respect other Jews, and other Rabbis.  RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT.

yes, i know, i'm not the most respectful person out there - but i'm also not shooting off my mouth telling other people that they're wrong for not living up to my standards.  ok, i'm doing thathere, but this is my space.

i definitely don't go to other people communities and simchas and is in judgement on them.  at times i'm amused or taken aback, or even snarky, but when it comes down to it, people do all sorts of strange things.  someone who can't deal with that needs to grow up.

i wish everyone could meet my uncle and spend a day with him, just to see what humility respect and understanding are all about.  he's pretty much as religious as you can get, but puts family above all else - including my other uncle's family, who is conservative.  he is happy and proud when we come to his neighborhood for smachot, and does all he can to come to ours (he lives in Israel).  i have never seen any sign of conflict around him.

now, he would definitely not do things the way i do.  but he would never go in a public area populated with people who do things like i do and tell us that we are not up to his standards, and therefore violating halacha.  it would pain him to think about it.

so, yeah, i'm a little annoyed that someone would come out and portray a more right wing community as being so preachy, ignorant, and narrow-minded.  yes, jews are all different, but at the end of the day we're one family, and we all (especially me) need to ease up and accept thehell out of each other already.

movie thoughts

we both saw last of the mohicans for the first time the other night.  i cried a lot towards the end (i'm a sap).

interesting to note that there are actually still mohicans around, contrary to the title.

i was trying to find a huron site that would touch upon their depiction in the book/movie.  no success as of yet.

am thinking of taking classes in native american history next semester.  it's frustrating that so much of what i think i know is still based on a 4th grade text book.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Guilty of manslaughter

Ex-Klansman found guilty of manslaughter in ’64 slayings 

PHILADELPHIA, Miss. - An 80-year-old former Ku Klux Klansman was convicted of manslaughter Tuesday in the 1964 slayings of three civil rights workers — exactly 41 years after they disappeared.

oh said fred

in an effort to get healthier, i've been on the south beach diet.  i made a yummy grilled cheese sandwich, snacked on apple and peanut butter, etc.

i'm so tired - now that my hip's been bothering me, i've been having ahrd time sleeping.  it seems that no mantter whaty position i try, i'm putting stress on the joint.  did you ever feel like a joint needs to be cracked, or get your finger jammed?  that's how my hip feels.  it's driving my crazy.  yesterday i skipped my vicodin for the day because i don't want to have my body get used to it.  i also wanted to see what my pain levels were at, which you cajn't do on meds.  etc.

my doctor was discussing ways of getting around the pain, but that's not the bottom line for me - for me it's fixing the problem.  while the pain is unpleasant, i'd rather experience it and know something's wrong so it can be fixed.  i don't like the idea of blocking pain as an answer.  i try not to take anything when i have a headache (unless i get a migraine and can't function, in which case i take excedrin migraine and go to sleep in hopes it will be gone when i wake up).

but this is beyond.  i have this constant tug of war lately between wanting to be able  to get around and knowing that pain is my body's way of telling me when to stop.

too much.  i'm going to have some PB.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

natural birth

TLC baby story - one of my secret indulgences.

but it's raised some questions for me.  some of these women want to have natural childbirth, but after 10 hours of labor they get wheeled in for caesarean, or they're given pitocin, or they'll take an epidural.  so i'm confused re: what they mean by natural.  especially after hearing from my mom's generation that some of them were in labor for 36 hours...  ?

i would have assumed that that meant using a midwife and avoiding medical intervention unless absolutely necessary.  does that exist in hospitals?  i looked around and saw that some hospitals list midwives on their staff, buti'm not sure what the exact role they play is.

Thursday, June 9, 2005

yay for Shavuot

yay for vacation and sleep...

unclear why, but i was up at 5:30 this morning

too tired to think

my boss thinks i may need to go on disability because there are days when i just can't come in andbecause i have to leave early/come late all the time due to dr appointments.

i don't know how to process that.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

how's things?

been less then mobile for a while now, it's hard core getting to me.  i'm going crazy.  the apartment is beautiful although i have a shitload of stuff that needs to be put away that i can't really take care of.  annoyance.  on the other hand because standing is my thing, i've been painting trim the apartment.  it looked better when i was being more patient.  oh, well.

so how's things with you?

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

title

for the last time, blog-city's new system sucks.  gr.

A Lyric, by Dani Weiss (written long ago)

There once was this one dude who came into this place

To save all the dudes and dudettes who lived there, man.

He was way strong and buff with a really good face,

Knew how to party, and crush lots of beer cans. 

The head honcho of the city needed his help

To get rid of this sucky monster who’d invaded.

When he saw the dude he thought he was just a whelp

But the dude said “Yo, man, you’re just jaded.” 

He got the people of the city to work together

And fight the good fight against the ugly thing.

He asked the women to dress in metal and leather

And had them each accessorize with a nose ring. 

The name of this dude, by the way, was Jason,

the greatest partier known to man.

When drunk he could puke into the slop basin –

His distance and aim helped his secret plan. 

The first night he was in town, they had a party

And got wild and happy with plenty of ale.

The people there thought he was a total smarty

The epitome of an almost adult male. 

That night, passing out, they heard a scary sound

Which meant the monsters were on their way.

Jason, as always, was rather profound,

And fit right in with that great cliché. 

He organized the people to stand and fight

And kept them brave in the creeping dark.

He promised them parties, that wondrous knight,

Full of hyper charged music in the local park. 

They stood and held strong in the first attack

Giving as good as they got.

They beat the enemy so far back

That by dawn they had almost forgot. 

Dawn came, and with it, Jason’s demands

To build a fortress to protect them.

The locals organized all their hands

And worked to the sounds of Eminem. 

 

 

The girls, dressed like hotties to Jason’s delight

Made rounds with pitchers of water and ale.

In the sun’s dawning graces they felt no fright

They all had faith that they would prevail. 

By night the scene was different, a bit –

The children were gathered in a back room.

Jason and his men would never submit,

They would fight to demolish the dreaded doom. 

That night – what a night! They fought against a fire

That threatened to consume all they had.

And just when their prospects were looking dire

They beat the bad guys, and beat them bad. 

The enemy retreated as fast as they could,

With a plan to return the next day.

Jason and his men searched for help in the wood,

Stopping for sips of their Perrier. 

They found an old woman whose advice was real groovy

She told them of things they had not known.

(If only they had watched the movie)

And now the bad guys’ cover was thrown. 

They tiptoed into the pad of the people they hated

So Jason could kill the bad guys’s mom.

I know it sounds harsh, but to rebuild

They needed to avoid their own Vietnam. 

Well, Jason, our hero, he killed that old bitch

Even thought he was underwater.

The thing went without a hitch,

If you can say that of bloody slaughter. 

So, this pissed off the bad guys in a major way

But it also freaked them out.

They fell into complete disarray

Which isn’t a good thing before a big bout. 

That night they returned, and Jason was fearless!

He fought and he clawed his way through the horde,

The whole place was as hot as a furnace.

But he never relinquished his faithful sword. 

With a thrust and a “Dude!” a parry and “Sweet!”

He ripped apart the big cheese.

At that point the bad guys were totally beat,

And the rest of the night was a breeze. 

Now Jason, you know, is beyond compare.

This battle not even his greatest deed.

But here’s a thought – beware

Cause Jason did all of this high on weed. 

It’s hard to say how much of it happened,

Hard to say just what was enhanced.

Hard to find a word that rhymes with happened,

But now this story has advanced. 

Jason, our hero, a boy of nineteen

High school drop out from Seattle.

He couldn’t have don it if he was clean –

As it is he won a beatific battle.

Monday, June 6, 2005

macy's yesterday

so we went to macy's yesterday, spent most of our time in The Cellar (possibly my favorite place to browse).  we found the world's coolest knife block - it's built in a case that locks, so your kids can't get the knives out (at least until they're strong enough to unlock it, by which time they'll be old enough to use them safely).

we bought a meat thermometer - let's just say that i've always wanted one, and now i have one (no comment from you, avraham).

avs got a watch (happy almost anniversary!) which he loves and looks great.

and i got this free facial from Yves Saint-Laurent.  This scary fake tanned woman with a very bad smokers voice, who looked about 30, sounded 60, and probably was about 27, approached me and asked me if i'd like to get a free facial from "evesenlorahn".  i had to think a moment before i figured out 1. the faux french accent and 2. the smokers voice distortion.

so i said yes, cause why the hell not?  ok, here's why the hell not.  she led me in to some shitty room that was supposed to look all fancy and spa-like, but you could clearly see that it was thrown together and they never change the towels on the pillow or bed.  great.

she asks me what i have on my face, and i say 'moisturizer'.
her: (faux european accent, shocked) 'nothing else?'
me: 'nope.'
her: 'okay, let me clean that off.'  she takes an alcohol soaked pad and wipes down my face, showing me all the dirt imbedded in the pad.  um, thanks.
her: poking at my skin 'you have very dry skin.'
me: 'yes, that's why i use moisturizer.'  and HELLO! why i never put alcohol on my face?!
her: 'you need a much better one.  which do you use?'
me: 'nivea.'
her: 'oh, you should really switch to our products.  they're much better for you.  this is our exfoliant.'  she picks up a little bottle and shows it to me.  'i use it twice a week.  people always ask me what i use on my skin, because it feels so good.'
i can't stop staring at the flecks of glitter left on her lips.
she squeezes an obscene amount of it on her hands and rubs it on my face, getting it not only on my eyelashes, but in my nose.
her: 'see how it goes from so thick to a liquid on your face?  it's made from sugar.  i use it twice a week in the shower.'
again, i thank her mentally for telling me all about herself.
she rubs and rubs and pokes at my face with her scary long nails, til she decides it's time to remove it with the wipey things again. 
her: 'now feel your face.  feel how smooth it is?'
keep in mind that she can't pronounce half of what she says between her natural accent and trying to sound rich.
i reach up and feel my face, and it feels kind of... gooky.
her: 'now it's time for the mask.'
she takes out a miniscule jar, tells me it's worth $130 because of the special chinese mushrooms in it that grow, get this, in a special place in China!
The mask needs to sit on my face for 15 minutes.  She glances at my shoes, sees their from payless, and amends it to 10.
while we wait, she decides she needs to oil and massage my arms.  she starts abusing me, digging her hands into my bones and ligaments.  there's utter silence in the room.
me: 'how long have you been working here?'
her: 'about 6 months.  before i worked at blah blah blah, but now i work here and i love it, because our products are so great.'
it hits me that her voice is so non-emotional that she sounds like she's reading a poem in 6th grade lit class.
finally, thank god, it's time to take the mask off.  it got so boring that i started trying to get the moisturizer crap off of my arms by wiping it on my shirt to pass the time.
her: 'now we well remove the mask.  look how much dirt and pollution there is.  it literally magnetized it, sucked the dirt out of your face, like a vacuum.'
her: 'do you wear makeup?'
me: 'not every day.
her: 'why not?'
me: ok, i get the fact that she thinks i'm a hideous specimen. 'because i want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  i never want to feel that i need to wear makeup to look normal.'
her: heavy fake laugh 'i wear makeup every day, even when i'm not at work.'
me: still not caring about her.
she moisturizes my face, nasal passage, eyelids, and hair, then instructs me to feel my skin.
my face is so wet that i spend the rest of my day wiping at it.

so next time you're asked if you want a free facial, say NO

she gave me her card and invited me back for a makeover some time.

iska says:

iska: pls daven (pray) for aleksander ben rivkah, my good friends father who had a heart attack. thank you
iska: (hes out of ICU thank G-d)

America's Best and Worst Cities for Crime

here are the top 10 safest Large Metro Areas in the US in 2002 (couldn't find a more recent list):

Nassau-Suffolk, NY
Middlesex-Somerset-Hunterdon, NJ
Ventura, CA
Monmouth-Ocean, NJ
Bergen-Passaic, NJ
Scranton-Wilkes-Barre-Hazleton, PA
Harrisburg-Lebanon-Carlisle, PA
San Jose, CA
Pittsburgh, PA
Orange County, CA

so there are basically 3 states that are safe to live in.  and SCRANTON CAME IN NUMBER 6!  woohoo!!!!

Sunday, June 5, 2005

boogie woogie woogie woogie

so family guy is back and great, of course.  the real surprise is that american dad is getting to be good in its own right.  yay to good sunday nights.