Or maybe

all I needed was some strawberries and a piece of string cheese.  Mmm, salty...

The Buzzing in my Head

There is so much that I want to be working on right now.  All these ideas and plans and nothing to do with them as we head into a Holiday weekend.

So, with all the pent-up energy, I should probably finish cleaning the house and prepping for the onslaught of the bronsteins this Shabbat. But instead I'm going to sit here and dream big, and leave the stress-prepping for tomorrow. I know, I'm terrible. But my nails are painted red, and my kids are in bed, and I feel like dreaming!

Ah, plans plans plans plans plans. When the Bronsteins leave WHB, we will hopefully have had quite an impact on our community. It'd be nice to leave a little legacy.

Wow, I'm completely ADD in here today. Jumpy from all the not-doing...

Things that make me go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems that a number of modern poskim think that women shouldl daven simply for the sake of fulfilling the mitzva, and ignore any kavvanah or extra ahavat Hashem that may be gleaned. Why do I say that? Allow me to quote Rabbi Bleich:

Many participants in women's minyanim speak and write movingly of the religious experience such participation brings them. Presumably, some may argue that the religious experience in which they share is sufficient reason to sacrifice the incontrovertible advantages of tefillah be-zibbur. That position is predicated upon a fundamental error - if not an error of Halakha, then an error of hashkafa or religious perspective.
Let these comments not be understood as denigrating the value of religious experience. Kavanah (devotion) is certainy a form of religious experience and its value cannot be extolled too greatly. But Judaism recognizes a hierarchy of values and kavanah, deveikut, religious experience or "attachment," desirable and laudable as it may be, should never be permitted to supplant other values. The fulfillment of a mizvah in an optimal manner , albeit without extraordinary kavanah, is to be favored over less optimal fulfillment accompanied by fervent religious experience.
R. Chaim of Volozhin, Nefesh ha-Hayyim, sha'ar I, chapter 22, makes this point most eloquently. One who eats mazah on Pesah, or lifts the four species on Sukkot  but experiences absolutely nothing that can be described as uplifting or spiritually edifying has nonetheless fulfilled a Divine command; his act has cosmic ramifications and he will receive great reward. ...

If your davening is missing something, something that would be remedied by gathering with other women every so often to daven as a group, do it.  Otherwise, if it's missing something and you can't do the very thing that allows you to connect, why will you keep davening? If you are here to be an automaton who simply fulfills everything perfectly and never acheives connection to God, what is the point of it all? And why, other then because you're a masochist, would you stay in that system?

I think sometimes that men have *so much* access that they can't quite imagine the lack of access there is for so many of the women. We who share so much have very different experiences from the second we step foot into shul.  Maybe men should have to spend one month a year not allowed to do anything women aren't supposed to do, just to get a sense of what it's like across the mehiza.

Being Adults

The kids are in bed entertaining each other for their afternoon 'nap', and Avraham and I just ran to the freezer, pulled out some ice cream (which we promptly ate) and some franks in blankets, which we popped in to the oven. Healthy living, you know? Or at the very least, happy living.

Phlebotomists

I have not had a good run of luck with phlebotomists. From the woman who couldn't get the blood out of newborn Fred's foot, to the entire ER staff that couldn't get the blood out of 3-day old Fred, to this latest run...

First tip. When a patient says"Ooh, I'm getting queasy" in response to your desciption of the blood flow, don't keep describing it. It's uncomfortable for the patient, unsympathetic, and will likely end in a face-plant in the middle of the office as the patient bravely tries to overcome the growing roar in her head and blackness before her eyes. This lucky girl made it to a chair, so the face-plant ewas ultimately avoided, but that was sheer luck.

Second. DO NOT WACK THE VEIN. That HURTS. Ask the patient to clench and unclench their hand. It's worked before, and it will work again. I swear.

Third. If the patient says "I think I need to lie down," let the patient lie down. Ask my brother - catching a passed out person sliding off an exam table is not easy once that person is about 5'8".

Fourth. Maybe don't talk about how much blood you are taking, or show the patient 6-8 empty vials waiting for blood.  That's freaky! *Unless, you know, the patient *asks*.

So, I feel pukey, but the bruising is minimal. Onward, to wait for results.

If I Were a Superhero

my primary superpower would be belated realizations.

And I would not want to wear tights.

I'm trying to quietly introduce my older daughter to the world of Batman. She's not ready for villians and heroes or punching yet, but she *does* know who he is, and that Ima loves him. I'm trying to teach her to say "Ima is obsessed with Batman, but only minorly"... but I'm also trying to teach her say some far more important things, so it's a little on the back burner for now.

She's super great, and I hope she stays that way. In fact, her superpower would be surprising pop culture references, all of which are coincidental. ... It's weird to think that my parents were ever this obsessed with me.

Farmville

is possibly the stupidest and most annoying online game I've encountered, but damn is it fun to leave people in the dust.  I'm almost at the last level, and I think when I hit it, I'm going to stop playing.

I wonder at my self sometimes. No college degree, but 37 levels of farmville in a matter of weeks. Huh.

Been a while...

I am totally wrecked/exhausted, and really really cold.  Anemic? Who knows.  But Snuggies are not the answer, people! Please tell me that no one I know is actually going out and buying these things with the intent to wear them. And if you think you can wear a Snuggie ironicaly, you're wrong.  You're just practiciing for when you're a fat old loser. Trust me, I'm an expert in some of those fields.

So, it's been a while since I played here.  Hm.  Well, in the meantime I believe I've managed to have 2 kids and live in 3 separate houses all in the same zip code.  Impressive, I know.  I'm in the middle of a bit of a tiff with the director of Fred's school - and before you ask, no, Fred and Gus are not their real names.  Bigger is Gus, Little is Fred, and if you want to konw the real names, you must be somene we know in real life. Back to the director. So Fred is a smart little bugger, much like her older sister, but precociously bright.  This past summer when she was 1 and a bit, she was at camp 5 days a week with the 2-3 year old group.  All of a sudden, she starts school in a class for 1.5-2.5 year olds, and she starts regressing.  Gone is my independent child who talks a mile a minute.  Instead I have this (adorable) kid who wants to be held all day, and often refuses to speak, opting to grunt and point instead.  She'll speak when we refuse to respond, so it's all choice, and it's really pissing me off.

I'd quickly mentioned my concerns both to the teacher at the start of the year and to the director a few weeks ago.  I called again this past Friday to follow up with the director. Now, I am convinced that she doesn't like me, so it's a bad start in general.  I was on my best Ima phone behavior - Is this a good time? If not, when can I call back?

So, I tell her my concerns, and my feeling that she would benefit from being in the next older class.  And the director tells me that she is not "academically ready for things in the older class like cutting, or circle time".

Now, I may not be a pre-school director, but last I checked, circle time is not an "academically-ready" skill set.  And when I nicely reminded the director that my daughter *can* handle running with the big kids, as she did this summer, the director very snottily replied "Yes, you said so." Emphasis on 'you', by the way.

So now I'm unhappy with the class she's in, not being listened to by the director, and on top of it she's talking down to me!? Why am I spending $400 a month on this? I very badly want to go down there and lay into her, but what would that gain other than a potential black eye for the shul?

Fred's camp director has offered to speak with the school director and vouch for her ridiculous abilities, but I don't feel the need to fight to keep her in a school that's so counter to working with us.

So, the Momma is backing down for now, waiting to hear if Gus' school has an opening. If not, I think Fred will be leaving 'school' and spending her mornings with me - between the library and some Mommy and Me classes, we should be golden.

But in my head, just know that as I was hanging up the phone, I totally bit that woman.