Phlebotomists

I have not had a good run of luck with phlebotomists. From the woman who couldn't get the blood out of newborn Fred's foot, to the entire ER staff that couldn't get the blood out of 3-day old Fred, to this latest run...

First tip. When a patient says"Ooh, I'm getting queasy" in response to your desciption of the blood flow, don't keep describing it. It's uncomfortable for the patient, unsympathetic, and will likely end in a face-plant in the middle of the office as the patient bravely tries to overcome the growing roar in her head and blackness before her eyes. This lucky girl made it to a chair, so the face-plant ewas ultimately avoided, but that was sheer luck.

Second. DO NOT WACK THE VEIN. That HURTS. Ask the patient to clench and unclench their hand. It's worked before, and it will work again. I swear.

Third. If the patient says "I think I need to lie down," let the patient lie down. Ask my brother - catching a passed out person sliding off an exam table is not easy once that person is about 5'8".

Fourth. Maybe don't talk about how much blood you are taking, or show the patient 6-8 empty vials waiting for blood.  That's freaky! *Unless, you know, the patient *asks*.

So, I feel pukey, but the bruising is minimal. Onward, to wait for results.