26 Jan 1999

shmu, you seem to enjoy my 19 year old self.  well, here's more of my crackheadedness, still culled from old emails:

so, i write to you now from a contaminated school.  OUTBREAK!  nothing to
be scared about.  two girls have mild cases of hepatitis A, and the rest of
us have to get shots and go into quarantine.  okay, i'm kidding about the
quarantine. . .  anyhow, i miss you all, and i want you to know that there
is nothing good to eat when you live in a dorm.  these two statements are
very much connected - if i were at home with you, ima could be making me
food.  okay, i guess you're not appreciating my humor. 

so, we're in the middle of finals.  literally, i'm taking my chumash final
as i type.  j/k, i don't have a chumash final this time.  actually, you'll
be glad to note that i not only studied for my navi final, but i took it
today and there's a strong chance that i passed.  we also had a toras chaim
final (remember ima, the young lady with her head screwed on straight), and
it was cool.  tomorrow we have history, then trei assar, and then a
mandatory speech from the dean of ma'alot in NY.  history shouldn't be too
bad, it's just a ton of material, but trei assar is going to be a
nightmare.  she's a very mdakdek teacher, and she flies in class.  she left
for maternity leave before chanuka, and was back one day before finals,
but missed our class due to traffic.  so we're going in blind, no idea what
to expect, and it's a major pain in the tuchus.   i'm not too happy about
that.  i even got a little stressed out this week.  the joys of academia.
anyhow, how's life with you?  i picked up the pictures from the novicks.
and i noticed how thoughtful you all were in sending letters, pictures,
updated pictures of aliza, and such.  once again, thank you family for
showing me that you care. 

i totally forgot: MAZAL TOV TO EVERYBODY ON RIVKY'S ENGAGEMENT!!!!!!!!!
yes, i know that i'm a total ditz for forgetting, but it's so hard to
remember everything <giggle>  anyhow, why don't you guys all take a break
from the computer, sit, write me a note, short or otherwise (preferably
otherwise), make me feel loved again, and keep your nasty thoughts to
yourself.  bais hillel vs. bais shammai:  kaitzad merakdim lifnai hakalla?
do we tell her the truth that she's an ugly fat witch with horrendous,
atrocious, and ostentatious taste in everything from the drapes down to the
challah, or do we lie like the rugs we are at heart and compliment her fine
makeup job? (better to comment on the makeup job than the nose job,
children)  bais hillel wins out - kinda - and says treat her as she is seen
through the eyes of her chatan, which is hopefully as the most beautiful
woman in the world, or else that marriage is in for a bit of trouble.  my
point in this whole thing?  who said you have to have a point?  okay, this
time i actually do as opposed to usually when i just blab to hear the sound
of my own voice, but considering that i'm not talking, and all i'm really
doing is adding more trauma to my fingertips, i gotta have a point this
time.  so, i do.  remember that in the eyes of someone one day, i will be
the most beautiful woman in the world, AHAHAHAH!!!!!  no, that wasn't my
point.  hmmm.  oh, yeah, this is it:  just write to me, lie a little, and
tell me how much you miss me.  make me feel special and loved, and you will
definitely get a portion in the world to come.  of corse, you'll be going
to hell for lying, but hey, as long as i'm happy!

so, be good, and know that i love you all (yes, akiva, you are
supposed to be reading my email).  i love you.  i say that a heck of a lot,
but i want it ingrained to your scalps, with magic marker and a rusty tin
can "DANI LOVES ME".  have a good one, family of mine, be healthy, wealthy,
warm, and wise, and keep missing me 'til i see you in march/april/i have no
idea when i'm going home. 

write back if you know what's good for you.