to one of mine

i was up all night thinking about this, and about you, and how to say this. i could never say it to you in person, but i think you read my blog.

we live in a society, maybe a world, where a lot of people are mysogonists. that doesn't mean that they hate women, per se, rather that they have a v unrealistic vision of what Woman is. these are the guys who hold women up on a pedestaal, and say all kinds of flowery beautiful statements about them, but at the end of the day, if the woman doesn't meet his expectations, or voices an opinion which he finds to be unfeminine for whatever reason, the hate and vitriol start pouring out.

you've heard it, read it, seen it. "I love women, but they should know their place." i'm afraid that this viewpoint, this twisted version of life, is something you've become convinvced is true in your own life. i've heard you refer to yourself as a bitch, and a slut - always with a wry grin on your face - and i've seen you collapsse in tears wanting to know why the world judges for doing things no differently than the boys do. why people can't seee how nice you really are.

your having opinions, and voicing them - that does not make you a bitch. a bitch is someone who maliciously attacks people. if stating that you disagree with someone is perceived as an attack by that person, it is not your problem, it is not your fault.

by the same token, you need to decide how you feel about people who fool around. either it's ok, or it's not. but beyond that, be careful how you refer to yourself. there are two terms generally used to refer to people who fool aroundd - slut and player. what is the difference between these two? don't you dare say that the slut is a girl and the player is a guy. that is not true. the slut is the person who does it because they're dying for affection, attention, and they're looking for it everywhere and indiscriminately. the player fools around for the pleasure (maybe a bit for the rep. *grin*), but is never talked into or forced into anything s/he doesn't want to do.

decide if you want to see yourself as needy and tragic/pathetic, incapable of having solid viewpoints... or if you want to be the person we all see when we look at you. someone strong and willful who shouldn't take shit from other people. i don't mean that you don't have patience for your friends. i mean that when other people start to put you down, you can not and should not give them any credence.

i love you very much. i respect you. i look up to you. i hope you can start to truly respect yourself as well.