naughty

i've been terribly remiss with my blogging stuff and stuff.  there's just been so much going on, i've been barely answering my emails (unless they're job offers, in which case i call back v quickly).  i'm insane with bouncing-ness.  i'm scarily in love, and it's overwhleming in its sense of right-ness.  i know i'm making up words again, i apologize,  it just seems to me that everyone i know had to struggle with love, and from the first moment, thank God, everything has just clicked and worked and been beautiful between us. 

i think it's largely a function of us having grown so close before we ever dated, and knowing we were going to do everything we could to keep it as wonderful and exhilirating as it was that first week.  i can't picture fighting with him, at least not the way we fight in my house.  at worst i'd say we'd argue, but none of the screaming and anger and rage and crying and door slamming and crap that i'm used to.

some people call that passion and think it's great, but i find it exhausting and corrosive to everything i hope this relationship can be.

there's also that wonderful feature where i eventually tell him all those crack-headed things in my mind - my secret neuroses, the wandering thoughts that meander into frightful questions.  he likes to call it constant updates.  it's amazing to be able to look at someone and see that person looking back at me.  the real me, without al the extras and shennanigans and personalities i've built up to hide myself from everyone else.

i'm not sure how i'm going to be able to do school and work when i've got Someone on the mind, but i guess i'll find a way.  *grin*

i positively hate being shomeret...