kiddushim

it makes me kind of sad that it's such a norm for young Jewish kids to drink.  13 year-olds whose fathers give them alcohol, men in their 40's egging the younger single guys to drink 'til they're sick...  i don't understand when it became a norm for us.

and i'm frankly tired of holding your heads and cleaning your puke.  as much as i love all of my friends very very much, and will continue to hold your heads and clean your shoes, pants, skirts, the surrounding floors...  please, think of what we're teaching the next generation.

i look at my nephew, who turned 3 yesterday (!), and my niece, who turned 5 on friday (!!), and i have scary flashes of their lives being in any way similar to mine.  i do not want that.  i can't begin to describe the visceral reaction i have to that picture.

i saw the most beautiful thing in the middle of all the sick,though.  i saw one father treat someone else's son as if he were his own, half-carrying him to his home, holding him, cleaning up after him.  and i saw the actual father, who i'd expected to be very angry, arrive - give his son a kiss, pick him up, and carry him home, with so much love.  i feel dwarfed when i see people like this.  imagine loving your community so much that every child there is like a child to you.  i want that.  and i want to be able to raise my family with love, not the yelling and anger that seems to come naturally to me.  to kiss and cradle my 21 year old son when he needs it, no matter what i feel about his condition.

i have to go think more.  shavua tov.