why don't i get paid simply for existing? i think i do it rather well.
work. budget cuts. joyous day-ous. i wonder how i would look sleeping on a park bench. probably v cold, v lonely, and v scared. although there are always the birds to talk to. yeah, the birds. feh, i'm in a half bad mood, but trying not to be. this sucks. boo on society and all their silly ways.
dude, dov, don't poke me on my back where i farging fell and *hurt*myself last night. smart smart boy.
grrrrrrrrrrrr. watch out, i bite when i get angry. watch your back, boy. and whimpering will only serve to piss me off more. trust me. and if you somehow succeed in getting away from me, jessica knows where you live. and she will hunt you down.
ah, the relief of being mean to other people...
multiply that last entry title by 10. i passed out in the shower last night. this takes an inordinate amount of talent, specifically the not eating enough and being hypoglycemic kind. standing in the shower, head gets fuzzy, so i take a second to breathre, relax, figure it will go away because i haven't actually passed out from this since freshman year. it works for a second, but the feeling doesn't go away - my head is heavy, everything's gone black, i can't stand, i'm so woozy... suddenly my eyes are opening, and i'm smushed on the bathtub floor, head at awkward angle, back pressed up against the faucets, and i don't remember falling. i hate this feeling. my friends are here, one of them came running. i grab my towel from where it's hanging on the rod, ask for a cup of water. i slowly move from the floor of the tub to sitting on the edge, sipping water. i feel strong enough to stand, look in the mirror (this is the freaky part) and my face is grey. forget chalky, like you sometimes hear. absolutely grey.
goddamn it, i really am an idiot.
just a funny PS - when i fell, i hit my back on something so hard that i cut it and it's swollen and i can't fargin' sleep on it. hello, must remember to eat at *least* two meals a day from now on. why is that funny? because it is - to me. hahaha
ok, nauseous from too much moulin rouge (for real, yo!). and sick of my whining, so i'm out.
i realized on friday that the reason i couldn't get online was probably that my modem was being moody, so after 2 hours of dov trying to get his laptop working, i went over, unplugged the thing, replugged it, and voila. fascinating how i can be soooooooooooo stupid sometimes.
in other news, i finally cried on friday night (thanks menach, i needed it). how many steps *is* it til you can reclaim your sanity? or even mine... i have to stop letting other ppl dictate my moods. i hate that i get down, that i get upset, depressed even, over immature ppl acting stupidly. if ppl choose to believe gossip about me, so be it. if ppl choose to take me for granted, so be it. they will simply lose me, and that, in the end, is a shame for them. not for me.
ok, must finish papers, pack... gah. life is so complicated when you're doing nothing. remind me to never do nothing again.
so, my computer's dead and i can't get online for anything - email, IM, the blog... annoyance. moving this week, crazy, trying to pakc and clean, and actually go to work so i can get a check and pay rent next month. haha. fun life that i lead. try not to be jealous.
boo on boredom.
so i'm totally going to lose most of you on this, but i posted my photoshop entry on fark today (without voting, because it took me so long to post, i decided i was no longer vote worthy). but the thing is that you need an image hoster before you can post, so i checked out the ones that they recommend. one's going out of business, one won't host for an outside source, and one was all screwy with .txt and .jpg. so i was hoping all along that i could figure out how to use this blog as my host, but i couldn't find the URL for the photos i've uploaded here. after 2 hours of frustration (and 2 embarasingly empty posts to fark), i realized that with the wonderful tools provided to me by my lovely internet explorer, i could upload a photo to my blog from my album, then check to see what the tags are, which would give me the URL. hello obvious! took me forever to click it together, but once i did - i posted on fark! nothing as thrilling as seeing that photoshopped guy with pudding... check out yaldani, towards the bottom. commence the happy dancing!
and major props to wil wheaton for letting me know of fark's existence in the first place. wil, you are awesome... keep it going with the comdey so i can come see you when i get myself over to your coast.
