Monday, June 19, 2006

49

first off, i want to state that I am aware of my own negativity.  let that just be out therebefore i start talking about theissue in general.


i find that more and more the women i talk to are very negative about things.  it seems to be an unconscious response, but generally i find that when a topic is brought up, it immediately veers into negativity waters.


i say women because that is where i have experienced the problem.  i'm not claiming that men do not suffer from it, simply that i haven't personally experienced it as regularly with them.


this bothers me on two levels - one, it is extremely unhealthy to have one's got reaction to things be negative.  two, it is extremely unpleasant for those around you who must either respond or ignore what has just come out of a friend's mouth.  responding most certaintly will lead to a conversation about the topic, and validate the negative opinion to some extent - if we are to converse, than your negative gut reaction is not just an unhealthy reading of what's going on around you, but now is simply a side to take in a disagreement.  ignoring it frustrates the second person, if not the one expressing the opinion, and doesn't deal with the fact that the reaction is often either unwarranted or over the top.


i am keenly aware of my own tendency to be negative.  i try to watch it, and i try to be funny instead of outright dismissive or depressing.  but maybe it would help us all to step back a bit in conversation and recognize that some side comments (such as "oh, she's so sweet") do not need a response, and that surely the proper response is not a rebuttal ("you think so?  i just don't see it.").


rant over, novacaine has worn off from mouth, and i am now off to eat food seeing as i can taste it finally.  : )

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