4th

i went to the stadium with my parents and some friends, to our box, to take in the philharmonic and some fireworks.

they started off by singing the national anthem. i walked outside, goofing around, and made a production of putting my hand over my heart, and started singing along. somwhere in the middle of kidding, i started to mean it.

i realized that this year was the first 4th of july since sept. 11th that i was celebrating publicly. i normally just have a barbecue party and forget about the day, what we're supposed to be commemorating and celebrating. but as i was singing, it hit me that it's been almost 2 years, and here we are, together, singing at a free concert, and i'll be damned if there weren't some tears running down my face by the time the choir walked off the field.

it shook me. it re-awakened the pride i had felt, the citizenship i had felt as child, pledging my allegiance to a flag that said i have the right to prefer Israel as my homeland withou giving up my right to be free and protected underneath the stars and stripes. i have the right to be whomever i want and to join with thousands of strangers in proclaiming that. this country is something spectacular, and i forgot that for 2 years. i let it freeze inside me.

i want to go around the world to all the people who hate me for where i'm from and shout "I"m proud to be an American!". because this year, watching the people come together to listen to patriotic music, watching the fireworks and the joy of the children, i was enthralled again as i haven't been in far too long. i was alive again.

there was something magical about that flag...