Hello Said Fred

Sleeping Peacefully 

with Gus, Grover, and Blanket (and Abba, too!)

Fred, the Christmas Elf 

i hate the new blog-city designs

i was quite happy with my old blog.

 you people suck it pretty hard.

Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Shana Colby

Subject: Fwd: Missing 16 year old frum girl

I'm trying to get this email out to as many people as possible in as short a time as i can.
I have a friend in Richmond, Va. that ran away last week.
I have been asked to get this email out to as many people as possible.
Her name is Shana Colby and she's 16 years old, blonde, and blue eyed.
There are a lot of theories that she may have gone to New York and the hope is that especially with the everyone-knows- everyone factor in the Jewish world that someone will know someone who has information.
We think she may be in danger and whatever anyone can do to help the situation would be appreciated. So if you guys could forward this email to as many people as you think would help that would be great (especially those of you in the metro-politan day schools).
Please guys. I know this girl personally and I know her mother. Who knows what forwarding one email or telling one friend can do?
There's a link here to her picture. I really appreciate all of your time.
Thank you,
~EB-E
this is the email from her mom:
Click on the link below to view Shana's poster from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

http://www.missingk ids.com/missingk ids/servlet/ PubCaseSearchSer vlet?act= viewPoster& caseNum=1083112& orgPrefix= NCMC&searchLang= en_US

Debbie

http://www.letssaythanks.com

http://www.letssaythanks.com is sponsored by Xerox, and sends hand-drawn thank you notes (with your message) to US soldiers overseas.

 It's a really nice thing to do and takes about 10 seconds.

Please help a girl out

and sign up at http://www.notebooks4free.com/default.aspx?r=945349 to help get us a new computer and replace the one that was cruelly stolen from us

First of All

My poor poor Avs.  On the way to work yesterday on the LIE he was rear-ended - just a bump, nothing major.   We decided that the car was fine and he could drive home in it.

So drive home he did.  Unfortunately, he was two cars behind some ass of a fool who STOPPED in the left lane to look at an accident.  Then he drove off, missing the fact that the woman behind him had slammed on her brakes and swerved, causing Avs to slam on his brakes.  He grazed her car, then was slammed into it by the guy behind him who couldn't brake in time.

Our car is gone.  My husband is home as of 8 hours ago or so,  which was a solid 8 hours after the whole thing happened.  We have no car.  We have no idea what insurance is going to decide to do because the ass who caused the accident DROVE AWAY.  We were up til 2, when we finally collapsed into bed (after many phone calls to Allstate).

And we need to simply thank all the people who jumped in and helped us out!  Thank you Morah Joan for driving out to exit 49 to get Avraham and drive him to Far Rockaway.  Thank you Stacie and Cheryl for calling and offering your services in any and every way possible - we didn't need to take you up on it, but knowing that you're there for us was amazingly helpful.  Thank you Hadar and Naomi who drove out to Far Rockaway and brought Avs back home to me.  Thank you Eddie and Orly who came, *after* Orly had put in a full day of work and then taught shiur, so I wouldn't have to sit and wait for Avraham alone.  Thank you Ima Bronstein, Sara, Akiva, Ima and Abba Weiss, and uncle Barry for the advice, perspective, and general just being-there.

Thank you God for delivering my husband back home to me in one piece. 

Help me replace my stolen laptop

by going to http://www.notebooks4free.com/default.aspx?r=945349 and completing an offer

 

PLEASE!!! 

For Nurse J

Today's Big Fat Lesson

or HOW FACEBOOK HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES:

I tracked down the really awesome super-expensive car seat that I want for Gus (I'm giving Gus' current car seat to Fred upon his/her arrival).  This car seat is good until she reaches 65 pounds, which is quite a ways off for my skinny little monster.  It also costs ahelluvalot.  For the money, I did not want a beige carseat, a black carseat, a car seat that flowers puked on, or a carseat patterned after an old man's socks.  Which meant I needed to track the car seat that went out of stock a few weeks ago.

Track it down I did (I'm insane, by the way), in a remote store in LA.  On a street LA-ers have never heard of.  Anyhow, I needed it shipped, but shipping would cost an additional $90.  Which brings the car seat price into car payment territory.  Actually, it may already be there.  Point it, this is not a piece of equipment that can handle having about $100 tacked onto its price.

So I shared my frustration on Facebook, and a few angels responded.  Some with idea, and two with offers.  One will try to get to the store to pick up the seat for me, and the other will bring it back with her from CA over Thanksgiving when she flies home for a visit.  And just like that, I have a viable solution to the $100 (well, okay, $90) dilemma I was having.

So, thank you my friends, for being lovely and so...  I forget the word cause I hace pregnancy-brain, but it means something like 'offer-y'.  And thank you Facebook for allowing me to quickly and unobstrusively find help.

 Y'all rock.  Now I need to figure out my double stroller shipment situation.  : )

if it matters at all

I am hot
cranky
tired
and annoyed

this past month has been long and occasionally tedious.

i have spent more time in hospitals and doctor's offices than i would wish on anyone

yet, i am in a remarkably good mood.

i sicken myself.

i wish i had something of substance to share, but all the substantive things this month are not internet appropriate.  So, imagine something exciting, or dramatic, or even scary, if you will, and ... 

today i

chased a toddler through the shoe section of JCPenney and beyond as she ran amok, flinging shoes and trying to make a getaway.  Such cuteness cannot be defined.

Hullo

I'm in the middle of really enjoying this website: http://wb-scranton-movies.blogspot.com/

Also, a funny - our friends were with us for Chag, and their son (who calls his father Papa) now calls Avraham 'Abba'.

spam

spam spam spam spam

it helps if you know the tune...

the email said "how to get bigger"  and i'm thinking - there are lots of things I'd like to make bigger.  Hamburgers in some restaurants, salaries, my apartment...  which issue will spam solve for me today?

from my grandmother

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.  

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".  

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.  

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.  

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.  

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".  

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.  

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.  

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Hillary Clinton

So, apparently, I met Hillary Clinton.  I don't remember where.  But she started talking about a young senator who impressed her very much named Bob Casey, and I got excited 'cause he's my neighbor, and next thing you know we've been chatting for a while.  My parents drove by, so I stopped to introduce her.  Anyhow, she told me to meet her where she lives, at the University of France Philadelphia, because she had something to give me.  So, even though it was erev Shabbat, and I needed to walk to Squirrel Hill (which for those not in the know is in Pittsburgh), I made my way to Penn (in Philly), which for once looked exactly like Princeton (in Princeton), and to the University of France Philadelphia.  Security totally fought with me about getting in to see her, but once they called down and told her my name, I was cleared.  At that point I lost interest and woke up.

She was really nice, though, so I may vote her.

there were frogs on his head and frogs in his bed

ah, but you will say to me: "they were not frogs.  and this is not passover."

and lo, i will reply to you: "correct.  they were earwigs and it was on Shabbat."

they've been invading slowly.  for a few weeks they were in he bathroom, only on the floor.  then they starting climbing up the toilet and into the paper towels.  last week i foud one on the toilet paper.

this week i found another on the toilet paper and one on the sink.

then i saw a cockroach of some sort which tried to kill me.

and this morning?  this morning i found an earwig on avraham's pillow and another on my blanket.  and lo, i looked up and they were crawling on the wall.  we packed up the baby and our stuff and headed over to shul where the unclean had not yet descended.

so.  the next time someone goes on about the hamptons, please do me a favor and kiss it.

i'm gonna keep on lovin' you

i don't want to sleep

i just want to keep

on lovin' you...

i love cheesy music (today).

the babes has now progressed to this happy little jig when we play music.  she's showing a strong preference for steve miller.  is it weird that i think of her being a punk and i sigh happilly?  how do you spell happilly?

also, it's been a while since we had her, and i still haven't really computed the whole i'm a mother thing.  it's insane how much i love this child and how little she's going to care for me in just a few years.  lord, i hope i can deal with it.

k, so for shavuot we were in FR.  Then Shabbat in WHB.  Then back to FR on sunday for bubby's birthday lunch.  then to queens to visit hedva and yosi.  then home, finally.  then this afternoon we drove to scranton because roger clemens was pitching here, and my dad saved two tickets for him and Avs to go watch the game in his box.  and tomorrow around 7 am we're driving back home.

i think the baby hates us when we have these kinds of weeks.

...

tired

tired

tired

tired

happy

happy

happy

happy

Gusness

exhaustion hits

we left the house at 10:45 for the funeral.  avraham spoke without openly crying.  we went to the cemetary and drove some people into the heights.  then we set out for far rockaway.  as we crossed the throgs neck we heard a pop, like something had hit our car.  a minute later, the car was making weird noises, then it started shaking.  we pulled off as soon as we could and had a wonderful adventure with towing and ima picking us up and much insanity.  we didn't get here til about 6:45, and poor gus had a very long day.  avs and i are exhausted, as is everyone at this point...

 

hopefully we'll know more about the car's condition tomorrow. 

*guilt*

ok, here it is - i feel really bad for britney spears.  i've been back and forth on this for a while, but there's a video online of paparazzi in her face snapping pictures (after she tried to visit her kids and couldn't get in).  at one point you hear her begging them not to do this to her, and then she snaps, grabs and umbrella, and beats on this guy's car before running back to her assistant's car and getting in.  The pictures are ugly, but not as ugly as what provoked them.

These Binoculars aren't Working Right

I'll say this - the only other person I know named Amir is definitely smarter.

oh, land'o'lakes, you sly devil

in my attempts to have more yummy land'o'lakes hot chocolate, i instead had their cappucino, which accounts for the awake at 2;15 am bit.  and just think - gus will be in about 4.5 hours, and my day can start anew.  yay yay yippie ka yay

the end of her career?

dont'cha'know

I left Gus on the couch, which I *never* do because she might fall, so I could wash her bottle and make her a new one.  I looked up due to that mother 6th sense in time to see her dangling feet first, stomach down, on the edge of the couch, then flip backwards, slamming her head on the coffee table and slipping to the ground.  She's fine, and I'm a shit.

tired tired tired tired. tired!

sung to the tune of money money money

also

the field i'm going into, and hence the classes i'm taking, are making me all too aware of both the ways i could seriously fuck this up and all the things that could happen to her, and I CAN'T DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hallucinations

yesterday i sat and nursed her for 15 minutes, which i know is true because i saw the clock at the beginning and at the end.  i sang the itsy bitsy spider to her because otherwise she wouldn't nurse.  i sang it for 15 mintes over and over, but i only remember two minutes of it, because those were the only minutes i was actually awake.

when i first had gus and was nursing every time she cried, i wasn't really getting much sleep.  so i found that by the time she was a week and ahalf old or so, i was comepltely dillusional.  she would cry, i'd wake up, i'd roll over to nurse her and think "man, those people from the synagogue won't let up.  damn it, i'll give a huge contribution so they'll stop making her cry"

i was in a different realm, and not in a good way.  and now i'm seeing friends and neighbors have their little ones, and i'm in themiddle of a not-sleeping kick myself right now, and i'm remembering how completely unable to function you are after you give birth.

so 2 things.  1 - how the *hell* do poeple do this alone?

and 2 - how do you do it with a toddler in the house?  i'm terrified.  and then one day, you have a biger kid, a toddler, and a newborn.  and you know the two bigger ones can seriously hurt each other (and themselves).  but you're off in la-la-land cause you haven't slept and everything you've got is being consumed (literally) by your children, and if you're an idiot like me, you're still in school when you're dong it?  i'm thinking - space the kids 10 years apart.

but the crazy thing is, while gus is only 6 months old, already i'm looking at eensy newborns and thinking i want another one.  i must be off my rocker - i still look like i'm 3 months pregnant, we live in a 2 bedroom, and i'm a student, and i'm actualy thinking "ooh, let's make this just a little harder!"

goodness

she gets up in 3 hours and i'm still awake.  shit

in other news, apparently she's ready to start with finger foods

holy crap i'm going to fall asleep the minute she wakes up

it's the little things

one of the best things about being a parent today is knowing that you can provide your child with healthy food choices.  I don't just mean fruits, vegetables, and howle grains, all of which are a must, but tha fact that kosher organic food is so readily accessible.

gus eats organic baby food (fruit, veggies, and 'dinners'), organic whole grain cereal, organic yogurt, and when she needs a bottle, organic formula.  all of which bears an OU.  it's a relief to know that she's not consuming pesticides or hormones that can often be found on non-organic food.

i've switched to organic milk (non-organic milk has a lot of hormones in it), and i'm ttring to eat more healthfuly.  we shall see...

Big Girl

she sits

gusness sits.  as of the 18th.  she's so clever.  someone sat her up, and she held it - i was all "dude, we never practiced that..."

it seems

that i no longer sleep.  not that i don't get tired - i do.  i wear out.  but i do'nt get sleepy anymore, so no matte how long i lie down in bed, i'm just wide awake and semi-tortured.  every minute detail of anything that has to get accomplished spins in my head.  i plan out the lists i'll write, whether they'll be on the same paper or separate papers, the categories i'll sort the lists by...  i recite the page numbers in the texts i have to read for school, think about the written assignments that have to get done.  then i watch avraham sleep and wish i could also knock out.  thenk God gus sleeps through the night.

it's 4:40 am.  i've been up since 8 am yesterday and may be up straight through til after dinner tonight.  will that mean i can sleep?  i wonder.

time to do a crossword

and then i teared up

there was a sign on the cross island that you have to use hands free phones while driving

i mentioned to avraham that mythbusters tested it and found hands free to be no safer.

i then pointed out that as a good driver avraham wasn't really listening to me right then, either (also, i babble, so it helps to tune me out), because he needed to pay attention to the road, when the car in front of front of us hit his brakes and we were still hurtling towards it, and avraham was stamping the brake as hard as he could and we weren't stopping and we were bracing for a hit and thinking all those thoughts you think when you're about to crash (with your baby in the back seat!) - and the car screeched to a stop.  the car behind was also able to brake, and we're fine, but seriously by the grace of God, and we were 2 seconds away from a 40 mph collision and glass flying and engine breaking and cops and fire and hospitals.  It sunk in very hard about 20 seconds later...

mohawk

also

if you are a fan of the gus-ness and want to see pictures of her regularly, email me and i'll send you the album link.

and if you don't already watch it, please consider watching mythbusters obsessively